My Poker Face
by ceilidh-kay
Summary: Jayne and an OC incidentally from the Tams' past find themselves falling into an awkward relationship, filled with drunken sex, marriage, love, hate, and firefights.
1. My Poker Face

My Poker Face

___**AN-Alright, my first Firefly/Serenity fanfic. This takes place just before Heart of Gold (where they go to help out Inara's friend at the whorehouse) but it's also a little movieverse. Oh, and Jaynie's going to be just a bit OOC because, well, I love the man but I'm making him just a bit more…honorable. This is the first part of an at least three part story about Jayne getting drunk and marrying someone and then not knowing what to do, their feelings for each other, and the difficulties of figuring it all out when you're on Serenity. Tell me what you think.**_

_"Sex. Muscles. Humor. Thuggery. Jayne."_  
-- Adam Baldwin, summarizing his character

"Well, I don't know." Sighed the pretty little blond at the bar of Maidenhead. "I guess Beaumonde isn't so different from Osiris. I'm still winning at poker aren't I?" She laughed with the rotund bartender before grabbing her drink and heading back to the cards. She only had enough left to buy another nights worth of food and lodging stored in 'savings' (her bra) so she needed to make some money tonight.

Madisyn swung past a large mirror to make sure she still looked presentable. Her father's voice rang through her memory as she rearranged her artfully messy waves; _"They'll never suspect _you._ Just sidle up to the table all sweet and innocent, ask to be dealt in…bluffing is _more_ than half the game pumpkin. Oh, you'll kill for sure! _And then she'd learned a few tricks once daddy wasn't there anymore…

"Well," she took a breath and composed her features "here's to winning."

……….

"Jayne, I think you may start conjuring laying off the hooch" Mal tossed a disapproving look to his muscle.

"We ain't got no jobs lined up; I'm on vacation." The burly mercenary tossed back another shot with one hand while knocking the bar with the knuckles on his other.

"You're a lost cause." Mal murmured when the sixth shot came sliding down to Jayne. "Don't you be makin' no trouble for me tonight, you hear? I just want a nice relaxing break now that we've saved up enough to keep us afloatin'. We ship off come mornin'. 'Sides, Fanty and Mingo may have somethin' for us."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there won't I?" Jayne didn't wait for a response, just grabbed his next shot and headed over to a card game he'd seen start as he came in five minutes past. Not only did he feel like cheating some fool out of their coin, he's spied a nice little piece of trim pacing around the players and thought it'd be fun to lure her away from her _Kai tze._ A big man like Jayne was sure to attract her more than any of the yellow rodents dealt in already.

He swallowed his firewater as he drew up even. "You fellas need another player?"

"Their almost done with this hand." The blond he'd been eying looked at him sideways before lowering her gaze. "Then we can play."

Jayne could've said so many things to that, but he didn't want to scare her away just yet. So he cocked an eyebrow and said only; "Can't wait."

……..

The new guy was huge. She'd rarely seen men as big or as well muscled as the next poor sucker she was gonna take down. And damn if he wasn't awful attractive. In a…border planet kind of way.

Which to Madisyn, wasn't so bad. She'd been born and raised around the scholarly core planet types and wasn't into it. He was a bit scruffy. And she liked it. On him it worked.

"You fellas need another player?" He asked the assembled suckers.

She didn't want to stop her scan of her prey to answer him; didn't want him to get a big head, think he was that important, so she didn't. "Their almost done with this hand." _Say it! No! Say It! Ok! _She looked him in the eye from below her darkened lashes "Then we can play."

_Was that an evil gleam in his eye? Why yes, I think it was. _Jia you!_ Go Madisyn! _

The giant's voice deepened and his chest swelled. "Can't wait."

_Oh, this is gonna be fun!_

It seemed to take forever for the Maidenhead's riffraff to finish their hand, but eventually Madisyn was seated across from the sexy beast and she had her hand laid out just like she wanted it. As luck would have it, she didn't even really need to bluff (or cheat). _When the game goes this easy, something else has to be lurkin' in the shadows right?_

"Now boys, I don't know how this keeps happenin'," She couldn't suppress her grin, this was the third hand in a row she'd won and she was looking at taking a few days off with the pile she was scoring. "But it appears that with a Royal Flush…" Groans echoed around the table but the men weren't turning too sour yet. _Still, it's better to stop before they assume you're cheating and run you out like they did at the Hogswollow._ "How could I win again?! Oh, are you boys letting me?" She mock chastised the group. They were the kind of men who seemed to like to demure to her, play at modesty. All accept the tall one. Jayne, he'd said his name was. It reminded her of an old song her father's father used to listen to about a man with a girls name; he'd had to grow up tough because of it.

_Well, Jayne there certainly looks like he could handle anyone who teased him for it. _

Yes, the man named Jayne was intriguing. While the other suckers pretended not to preen and fake down-play how much money they were throwing away, Jayne just stared her straight in the eye. He spoke plainly and had a self assured posture and a tilt to his head she would have called cocky if he weren't so densely muscled; plus it was clear by the way he held his body, that Jayne could handle himself in a fight. 

His manner had unnerved her at first, his directness and his thinly veiled innuendoes made her blush. But the longer she spent at that table with him and the more she drank…Well, she hadn't really started off being too proper anyway had she?

_I spent the entirety of my childhood being proper._ She complained to herself. _You only live once. And day-um. _ She looked the man up and down. _ I want to _live_!_

……_.._

Jayne'd used all of his...charm on this little vixen. And he was pleased it appeared to be working. He'd lost count of how much he'd lost to her and how many hands they'd played. Hell, he'd even lost track of how much he'd drank, and it _was_ starting to effect him. Maybe. A little. 

But, Madisyn was shooting off replies to his, perhaps less civilized, remarks just as quickly as he blurted them out without thinking. She laughed at all his jokes. (And at some things that weren't jokes) And she'd had plenty opportunities to leave if she didn't want his company. And for some reason, he didn't mind that she beat him at poker, it was kinda hot.

_Gotta think now Jayne._ He coached himself. _What's a pretty little chit like her gonna want? _

"Well." He finished the dregs of his beer. "Since you've almost completely cleaned me out," he paused long enough to see if she was paying attention. Her eyebrows raised and she tilted her head. He gulped when a lock of honey blond hair slid down into the valley between her breasts. Her chest wasn't big by his standard. No, all of her was pretty tiny, but they looked mighty appetizing, and they were full enough to strain at the low cut top she was wearing. He rose to his feet and held out a hand like a proper gentlemanly sort of fella. "How 'bout you and I find ourselves some tasty vittles. Madisyn _xiao jie_" He didn't ask.

There was an instant of pure panic where he wasn't sure how she'd respond and it wasn't aided by the dizzy spell that came quickly when he stood. But his equilibrium balanced out and she did that shy look-down thing she did while a smile cracked over her face, and he knew she was sold. He puffed out his chest and gave her a half grin. "Come on _Bao bei,_ let's get outta here."

**An-Rough translations of the Chinese-Bao bei-darling, precious. Xiao jie-miss/little lady.** **Jia you-cheering someone on like 'Go –'. **_**Kai tze-**_**boyfriend, but kind of derogatory.**

**Well, thanks for reading. Like I said, I've a (really funny in my opinion) idea of where this will go. It involves blacking out and getting married as well as firefights so…review if you like it, or if I should change something. Whatever. I'd appreciate some feedback. I'm not sure if I'll finish it if I don't get any info from you guys :) Happy fanfic-ing!**

**Ceilidh**


	2. My Last Name

My Last Name

**AN-alright, so I kept the last chapter a lot shorter than I wanted in the hopes that I could just get it taken care of. If you know the lyrics to Lady Gaga's My Poker Face then you know the vibe these two had last night. (Plus I'm thinking about adding more, fleshing it out, explaining what they did etc. tell me what you think) This chapter is the morning after, and if you've heard Carrie Underwood's My Last Name…well that's kinda it. Please leave me a review; tell me what you think, or just that you read it. Constructive criticism is a necessity I'm glad to accept. **

"Uhngahma." Madisyn groaned as she woke up tangled in the sheets. Her tongue tasted like death when it sat out in the sun too long and her head felt like someone had taken a mixer to her brain. _What in rutting hell _happened_ last night?_

Part of her question was answered too soon.

She'd tried to get out of bed to release her near bursting bladder when she discovered that the sheets weren't the only thing she was wrapped up in.

"Why're you awake?" Jayne grunted, tightening his hold on his bedmate and pressing her further down into the mattress.

"Jayne?" Madisyn couldn't remember how she'd gotten in this situation but this sure as hell wasn't her hotel room. "Where are we?" she asked as she attempted to turn around in his arms to look at him. Unfortunately, movement seemed to create all manner of unpleasantness to happen in Madisyn's brainpan.

"Hm?" he rubbed an eye, squinted out at the room and then back down at the little blond he was squishing. "'S m' home."

"Mm." Madisyn tried to nod but felt like she'd explode. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Toilet's just there." Jayne rolled a little off her and pointed to a blank spot on the wall.

_You've got to be kidding me._ "Uh, where?"

Jayne took a deep breath and levered himself out of bed. He staggered over and pulled the toilet _out of the wall_.

"What?" Madisyn didn't even want to know. But she didn't have to listen because a tide of 'last night' rose at a rapid speed, propelling her across the room to hug her new best friend and spew her brains out. _Oh God no. I can't be _this _hung over. I cannot be vomiting in front of someone. And I think we had sex! Am I-Ah, __ Wo de ma he ta de fen kuang de wai sheng dou. I'm naked!_

……_._

"What happened last night?" Jayne mussed while the Madisyn girl threw up. He felt bad for her but had to admit, he appreciated the fact she didn't put on some clothes before hurtling across his room. "Damn." He scrubbed a hand over his face and pulled on some pants to make the girl feel better. He remembered the cards and he remembered takin' her to another bar for dinner…then they'd got a rickshaw to…where? Another bar. She'd tripped and fell, he'd picked her up and carried her and…Ah, hell. He'd kissed her. On the mouth. Shit. He never kissed em on the mouth.

Of course, he never took em to his bunk either.

But what'd happened then? He got into some kinda fight and they'd hightailed it outta there right quick…

"Uh, Jayne?" The girl'd calmed herself a bit at least. That was good.

"Hold tight Madisyn, I'll go get you somethin' to drink."

"No, uh…" He faced her so she'd know he was payin' attention.

"Yeah?" She looked unsure. Sheepish like. _Ah shit, she's prolly not used to prancin' round naked!_ "Oh, uh here." He tossed her the first thing he could find and at least it wasn't stained.

"Thanks," she murmured, sliding it on and standing unsteadily.

"**Jayne."**__ Mal's voice buzzed in over the intercom. **"What the hell is this…luggage doing in my hold?"**

"What?" he looked at Madisyn, she shrugged.

"**This luggage. You were the last man in last night. And sure tweren't there when I turned in."**

"Uh, listen Mal. I don't know, I'll be up in a few minutes."

"**Found a tag on it!" **Wash's voice came over the loudspeaker. **"Says…Madisyn Morgan. Do we know a Madisyn Morgan?"**

"Ah, _Zao gao._"

……..

"Why is my luggage in your. –Wait" Madisyn started to worry just a bit. Ok she was panicking. "Your house-" she threw a wide eyed look at the mountain of a man in nothing but a pair of really hot pants. "I'm not just really hung over…your house is moving. And has a hold. And intercoms…and the toilet's in the wall…"

"Uh, yeah. This here's Serenity. And I think we just left atmo."

………..

Jayne and Madisyn cleaned up as best they could and ventured out in search of answers…and a hangover cure. Thankfully no one was in the mess.

"You hungry?" he asked as she sank down into a chair.

"Uh…I'm not throwing up at the moment." She answered instead.

"Here, I'll uh, see what we got stocked." He busied himself in the cabinets. _Poor girl's a little green round the gills there. Gorram it! I can't believe this. What the hell _happened_?!_

"Oh my, shit." He heard from behind him. Turning to look over his shoulder he saw Madisyn staring at the hand opening the cupboard where they kept the cups. He followed her gaze. "You're married!" Her voice sounded a might strangled.

"Wha…?" But he was right. Or at least it looked it. There on his left ring finger rode a plain gold wedding band that surely had never been there before. Hell, he'd never even really pictured one there before.

"I can't believe…you and I…and you're….Oh, _Lao tian, bu."_

"Lao tian, bu is right. Where in gorram hell did I get this?"

"You mean…you're not? …What?" Madisyn was getting a little tetchy, but she wasn't frettin' nearly as much as Jayne was beginning to.

"What do you mean 'I'm not?' 'Course I'm not. But damn." He pulled a hand over his short hair. "'What' does seem to be the question."

"But y-" Jayne cut her off.

"Shush, woman. I need to think. What do you remember from last night?"

"Uh…" she chewed on her lip a little and it did nothing to calm his agitation. _Stop lookin at her._ He told himself. _You look at her now, you ain't never gonna figure out what happened._

"Well, uh, I of course remember playing cards with you. And I remember…hell there was quite a bit of drinking wasn't there? And then we went to have supper…and…" she squinted up her little face and Jayne had to turn around. Damn was she cute when she was focusing. "and then we were…somewhere and some men came up to us…Oh God!!" She gasped.

"What?!" Jayne pulled his LeMat and spun round to see what'd startled her.

"No," her hand was at her throat, drawing his eye to notice the pulse beating rapidly there, "it was last night, Niska's men…Oh, thank you Jayne. You truly saved my life back there. But I fear it's put you in serious danger."

Jayne put away his gun and moseyed over to where she sat. "Niska's men? Well," he smiled down at her, she was cute when she was concerned but he'd rather not see her frettin' too awful much, "don't you worry 'bout that. I've dealt with them afore. And I do remember gettin' into a little bit of a scrap. Well, what do you conjure happen after that?" He wasn't sure he'd put her mind completely at ease, but he tried to talk soft and soothing like and she did calm herself a bit and go on.

"I recall…well, I recall quite a lot of dancing and kissing and such. But after you laid out Niska's men, we went to my place…I remember you telling me to take only what I needed, but I was pretty much already packed…we hired a porter to take my things to your house, I guess here to your ship…and then…It's all really quite fuzzy. I only remember snippets. Um…you carrying me…I remember an old man smiling at us….and then I remember a little bit about being here with you…" she colored up and looked down, sheepish.

"Well, then. That's a bit more. I remember most of that. And I remember a tad more about once I had you here…" She was clearly uncomfortable and he wanted to set her at ease before the rest of the crew found out she was here. "Madisyn," he sat down next to her and took her little hand in both of his. The contrast gave him an odd sense of pride and power but it was the metallic clinking noise that caused him to pause.

For a space of time not either of them said a word. They both just sat, staring in each other's wide eyes, holding their breath. Then slowly, very slowly, they both looked down at their joined hands and Jayne unfolded his grip like a flower blossoming in the sun.

There on her left hand, was a matching gold band that tapped up against his.

They both swallowed hard and looked up back into each other's eyes.

Then she spoke in a soft voice. She sounded so lost it nearly broke the hard mercenary's heart.

"...and I don't even know my last name."

……….. **AN-I wanted to end it here, but there's so much more that needs to be told**

"Jayne, I thought I told you to meet me in the-" Mal came striding into the mess and cut himself off. "What is she doin' here?" He'd come across his muscle in quite a few situations tweren't common but the captain had _never_ expected something like this.

Jayne wasn't the type of man to show panic to a woman, 'specially not when she seemed in such a way herself. And he definitely wasn't one to hold her hand.

Plus who the gorram hell was she!?

Jayne sputtered unsure of what to tell the captain as Zoe entered and River swung herself down from the ceiling.

"She heard." River had a half smile on her face, Madisyn gasped, the captain and Zoe both swung round to face River and Jayne checked for knives out of habit. "Madi's come back. And she and Jayne are husband and wife."

The silence was deafening. Then the voices all overlapped in their rush to be heard.

"River…?" Madisyn asked in an awed tone. "I can't believe it."

"Honey," Zoe was on the intercom "could you pull up Jayne's info on the Cortex. See if there's any mention of his marital status havin' changed?"

"Now, wait a minute." Mal put his hands up like he was shushing a startled pony. "_Who_ are you? _Why _are you on my ship? And _how_ do you know _River_?"

"I-" Madisyn was interrupted by Simon's arrival. He seemed to have been River hunting and had just caught up.

"I found her Kaylee!" He called.

"Oh, good. Hey River." She beamed as she climbed over the threshold. "Why's everybody so…" Her smile faded as she took in the multitude of frowns.

"Madisyn?" Simon was stunned.

"Now I will ask one more time for clarification before I start assumin' things here. What in sam hill is goin' on, on my boat!?" Mal's voice rose impressively.

"I told you." River pouted, sounding indignant. "Madi's married Jayne."

…….

Madisyn's backside had fallen asleep twice already and it seemed like hours since she'd awaken next to the stranger to whom she'd tied herself. The only good news was that her hangover seemed almost completely gone.

"And you just went and took it into your head to marry some girl form Osiris you lost at poker to and bring her aboard my ship without even mentionin' it?"

"Look Mal," Jayne appeared to be almost as tired as she felt, "I wadn't plannin' on it or nothin'."

"Well, you'd best be plannin' on either settin' your chit down, next port o harbor or followin' with her. Because I ain't intendin' on takin' in any more strays."

"Listen, Captain Reynolds, I'm sorry if this has inconvenienced you at all here." Madisyn place a tad bit more emphasis on 'you' than was strictly necessary but felt a little indignation and/or _rage_ was deserved on her part. "I will gladly pay for my passage but I would appreciate if I could discus my own private matters…in private."

Jayne looked to agree but the captain interrupted again before he had a chance to back up his…_wife_.

"You mess with my crew, little girl, and it becomes a private matter no more." Mal's voice was deadly serious. "Now I want you sorted out and off my ship before you get yourself in the way." She opened her mouth to protest and scanned the room for some idea, or someone to support her but found nothing. _What the hell am I to say to that?! It's not as if I intended to get here! _

Thankfully before she looked a complete fool, Jayne stepped in.

"Mal, she does have the coin to pay. Hell, she's got enough just from me to stay 's long as Inara has. And I can't just leave her at our next stop off point."

Madisyn's head perked up. _Not that I want him to want me to stay._

"Why in-" Mal tried to protest but Jayne cut him off before he could build any more steam.

"The poor girl's got some trouble with Niska, I ran into some of his goon last night, I guess sometime afor the weddin'…but I ain't gonna just set her down until it's been sorted out. No Mal." He barely managed to stop from pounding his fist down on the table when the captain opened his mouth again. Instead he just placed it down…rather forcefully. "Madisyn's my wife, forgettin' a purpose or no. I ain't leavin' her to a mad man like Niska! We'll sort this out and she'll stay outta the way and everything'll be shiny by the time we start our next job."

_Aw…he is rather adorable isn't he?_ Madisyn blushed a bit and swallowed a smile. _In a huge, bruiser sort of way. Oh God. How're we gonna 'sort this out'? _

Mal visibly struggled for something to say a moment before he conceded. "Well, it'd better be. Job starts in two days' time. I want you two divorced and separated afor we set foot planetside. Dong ma?"

Jayne nodded grimly before noticing Madisyn's eyes flickering closed her jaw clenched and lips pursed. She took a shuddering breath to calm herself. Released it, then opened eyes that were frozen and lifeless except for the almost imperceptible sheen of tears.

"Wai-Wha…?" Jayne whispered, clearly panicked again. "What's wrong Madisyn?"

"She's scared." River piped up. "She's doomed now. And she knows it."

"What do you mean River honey?" Zoe frowned from her spot in the corner behind Mal.

"She's doomed she's doomed." River sing-songed without much emphasis. "And the sad part is, she doesn't even know how much."

"River," Simon gently admonished, "I uh, I think what River's trying to say," he turned back to the captain who sat at the head of the table "you see, on Osiris…Well, appearances are everything and if it's found out that Madisyn was ever divorced…which would of course be public access to any on the Cortex…" He took a breath to compose himself and looked at Madisyn for permission.

_Can't hurt me any more now._ She nodded to him and the doctor went on.

"If anyone found out, she'd be ruined."

"Remember Ms. Flemmins?" Madisyn's eyes were dead but her mouth lifted in a dry half smile. "I'd be a pariah."

"Yes, well. Ahem," He shuddered at the memory of her harsh treatment "Madisyn would be completely shut off not only from the society but from any community aid or programs. She would be forced to become a beggar in her own home and…"

"And they don't take kindly to beggars on Osiris." She finished for him.

**AN-**_**de ma he ta de fen kuang de wai sheng dou-mother of God and all her crazy nephews. Zao gao-crap, spoiled cake. Lao tian, bu- Oh God, no. Dong ma-understand.**_

**I've not exactly read over this chapter too closely (nor did I go over the last one…whoops) but I hope it makes sense. Send me a message if you have questions and please review. Even if it's just a few words, I'd like to hear how it's going. The next chapter we should be hearing about Madisyn's past (why she ended up gambling and (occasionally cheating) to survive when she came from such a well to do background) and more interaction between herself and her *cringe* husband.**

**Much love,**

**Ceilidh**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

**AN-Here it is, now it's starting to pick up. I'd love it if you told me what you thought. I **_**am**_** considering taking it all down and reworking it because there are a few things I think would improve the story and I want to make it flow better. Anyway-Enjoy!**

The newlyweds made their way back into Jayne's quarters with grim visages.

"Listen Madisyn…" Jayne closed the hatch and made his way over to a little table littered with weaponry. "I'm real sorry 'bout all that up there. I wish we'd had more time to…talk between us, alone like."

"Yeah," she plopped herself down on his bed. _Screw manners, we're humped. _"I wish that…I don't know, I guess I should try to remember more of what happened last night."

There was an awkward pause where they just stared at each other before Jayne made himself busy at his table, trying hard not to look at the wife he hardly remembered marrying.

"And I'm sorry too." Madisyn spoke again, raking her fingers through her hair in an attempt to forget about the man not ten feet away. It seemed that as soon as he came into her life, she just threw caution to the wind. And caution was something that'd gotten her this far, it didn't seem wise to just forget it. "I didn't mean to muck up everything here for you." She sighed "I guess what we should really focus on is getting this marriage taken care of."

"Shit." Jayne put down a pistol heavily and turned back to the little blond. "We may as well get to know a little about each other. You say you'll be…an outcast if you go back home divorced?"

"Yeah," Madisyn shrugged but figured there couldn't be much more damage done. Hell, since they were married it made no sense to hold any secrets from him, "and I'd always intended to go back someday. Although, I don't see _how_ I thought I was going to do it…or why."

"How'd a rich little Osiris girl end up playing poker in a Beaumonde bar?" he tried to ease the serious air floating around his bunk, his eyes sparkeled and his lips turned up in humor.

_Wow there girl,_ Madisyn reigned herself in. _With a smirk like that…who could blame me for eloping? _

"Well…I guess I'll give you the run down. You can make sense of everything yourself." She smiled as he lowered himself down next to her. The mattress dipped a little, but his cot didn't have that much give to give. "I was born and raised on Osiris. My father was a doctor and friends with Simon and River's dad."

"That's how you all know each other." He didn't ask.

"Right. I was in dance classes with River when we were younger…" Madisyn laughed, her eyes far off in a memory. "Of course, she didn't spend much time in the class itself. That girl'd look at the routine and then she'd have it down pat. _I _was the one who stayed after every other day. But we were great friends and we were the top of the school for a while there. Then she went away to the Academy and I had to stop taking classes…"

She swallowed and the pause took to long. Jayne wasn't a patient man and it made him uncomfortable to sit there while she had that frown on her face. Plus he really didn't want to ask her age now that he knew she took classes with little River. "Why'd you have to stop?"

She shook her head slightly and looked back up at him with her pretty green eyes. "Well, you asked how I wound up playing poker. My father taught me." She smiled again but it quickly faded. "He was a great player and taught me everything he knew. His only weakness was bluffing. If a person knew him they'd instantly know he was lying. Myself on the other hand…Well, River loved dancing because of the movement. For me it was about the theatrics. I was an actress at one point, got paid to do it too. But it takes too long to set up a play for how many credits you take away in the end. I was the greatest bluffer my father had ever seen…"

He gambled away most of our fortune. And lost the rest through a failed business venture. So that's why I quit taking the classes. But of course we just _had _to keep up appearances." Her sneer spoke volumes and Jayne found himself listening raptly and watching closely. She was an actress, a story teller. Although he could tell she didn't mean to be. It was the way she spoke, the way she moved, he could tell everything she was thinking and feeling and he was enthralled. _And_ he wanted to kill the bastard on Osiris for being such snobs.

"So my father took out a rather substantial loan from one Adelei Niska. He thought he'd be able to gamble back our fortune. And of course, that didn't work."

She looked so bitter but underneath that was so much hurt Jayne couldn't think of anything to say. Not that he was one for words normally. He put his hand on her knee and gave a gentle squeeze.

She smiled up at him but there was no real joy in it. Just a thanks for his concern. "Do you know the saying about doctor's wives going without medicine?" she asked but it was rhetorical. "It's true. My mother died of an undiagnosed brain tumor. And shortly after that Niska took my father. Then the bank closed on our house and I had either to beg or to leave. And beggars don't last long in Osiris. I took what money I could scrounge up, hopped the cheapest transport to anywhere big enough to support me and wound up in Beamonde. With all the bars and clubs there it was easy enough to make a living playing poker. Plus I picked up some…unethical techniques along the way that helped when the hands I was dealt weren't so great. And I couldn't really do much else. The pay for an actress or dancer…well, a _clothed_ dancer isn't enough to keep mobile. Poker allows for more flexibility, and I enjoy the company better." She wrapped up with a wry grin.

_Well, there it all is, laid out on the table. I'm sure he can handle it. …I hope._

………

Don't _think of her dancin' nekked. Do not. Damn, girl's had enough to deal with 'this life. Now this mess. And Niska clearly didn't just give up._

"So Niska took your father, but he's still after you?" He wanted to make sure he had all the info before he started shootin', just to be on the safe side for once.

Madisyn took a deep breath and shrugged again. "It appears that Niska still wants his repayment even though the man who made the deal is dead."

Jayne tightened his fist on a bunch of his blanket on the side she couldn't see. Sure Niska was a sadistic bastard, but he'd already killed the girl's father. And it was clear the little blond wasn't used to dealing with the darker side of life.

Sure barroom brawls she'd probably seen a many, and back room dealings too no doubt. But his little one shouldn't have to deal with the likes of _Niska_. Hell, Jayne didn't think he even liked her dealing with the likes of _him._ Although, he didn't for the life of him know why he cared. Maybe because she just looked so…sweet. And she clearly just wanted to have a little fun.

"Well, I don't know what we're gonna do darlin' but I sure as hell ain't leavin' you to fend him off yourself. I don't know about this whole marriage business neither, but till either Niska's dead or we can set you up somewhere safe for sure…well, you're just gonna have to be stuck with me."

………..

"I don't like this at all Jayne Cobb." Shepherd Book gave him a 'holy look' as they washed dishes. Both men were watching the newest resident count out her money. She had quite a lot of coin, in part because she'd exchanged all her credit for hard cash, but mostly because that's what you gamble with.

"Well I figured _you_ wouldn't." Jayne grumbled back while scrubbing a pot.

"I don't know much of her, but that little girl there doesn't need to be on a boat like this with a man like you."

"No, you don't know much of 'er. But that little girl there actually _does need_ to be on this boat, and I'm the best man for her right now." He growled but didn't look the preacher in the eye. Madisyn was high-bred. Just because she'd had hard times recently didn't mean she fit on a smugglin' ship. "And you can just hold your sermons there Shepherd because so far as I know, I didn't touch her before the weddin' and I ain't intendin' on doin' it again any time soon."

"You'd best not." Book warned. "There's a special place in hell-"

"Yeah, yeah, we've all heard this before." Mal squeezed in behind the men to grab an apple. "You portionin' out your bill there little one?" He called toward the table.

"You know it." Madisyn called back. She'd decided to not think about things too hard, she was just going to let everything roll off of her. Of course, she could hear every word that was spoken in the kitchen area and wondered why the hell Jayne wouldn't want to rut with her anymore. _Not that I want him to want me…after all, we aren't in a relationship or anything…_ "How much _do _you charge by the way, captain?"

…….

By dinnertime all the crew (save Mal) seemed to accept Madisyn's place with a humorous grin.

As Kaylee said "Things can git pretty borin' out here. So don't take offence Madi, it's just funny to see Jayne in a fix with the fairer sex. He's normally a rut em and leave em sort. He-"

"Madisyn don't need to hear that _Zao gao._" Jayne interrupted. For some reason he didn't want his _wife_ to get a bad impression of him.

"Well, it is rather unusual for you to bring a woman home to meet us." Inara tore off a piece of bread to butter like a lady.

"Madi," Simon started, putting down his glass, "do you have anyone left on Osiris with whom you've remained in contact?"

"Of course not. The only people left who I actually liked are right here." She gave a sweet smile to her childhood friend and her older brother.

"So you have _no_ family left Madi?" Zoe asked in a matronly tone, clearly concerned for the girl. _There's a woman who wants a child of her own._ Madisyn mused.

"No," She gave a short laugh and bumped shoulders playfully with her burly 'husband', "not unless you count Jayne here."

"When're you gonna take Madi to meet your mother Jaynie?" Mal queried in a sugar sweet voice.

Jayne looked uncomfortable. And angry. But that didn't worry Madisyn much; it seemed to be his default face while with anyone but her. "Shut up Mal. You know full well _I_ can't go see my own mother right now, let 'lone take Madisyn with me."

_Will he not call me Madi for a reason? Is he distancing himself? Should I even _try_ to get close to him? I mean, yes. He is attractive. And you find him funny. And he's strong and would protect you from your enemies. He's basically a knight in dented, dirty armor. Is that what you want?_

The comfortable, playful banter of the people of Serenity gave Madi a soft smile as she drifted out of the center of attention. _If only if only._ She sighed. A home would be nice. A family. This damn mockery of a marriage was truly a tease. Dangling what she wanted in her face. _But it won't last. It couldn't even if it were real now could it?_

…………

Madisyn had closed her eyes, giving Jayne the perfect opportunity to watch her without her knowing. Again.

He found he did that more often than was shiny.

She had a soft, sweet smile spread across her pink lips. Lips that just begged him to-_Stop right there, man! _But when it was calm like this, and she had that contented, happy little look on her pretty little face…he felt big and strong (well bigger and stronger than normal), but the best part was the peace he felt. He wasn't itching to move. He wasn't thinkin' darkly on men he'd killed or needed to. He didn't worry 'bout his mother or Matty or his father. All was good with the 'verse.

Fortunately her smile faded and snapped him back to reality. She looked sad, like she was wishin' for somethin' and then she looked a little angry and he didn't have a clue as to what could've set her off. But he wanted to stop it.

"Hey, Madisyn." He spoke softly not wantin' any one else in on his business and squeezed her knee under the table.

"Hm?" her face went perfectly care-less and lofty-like, obviously an actress face. But she did turn to him and after a moment it faded and was replaced with something more real. Something that told him she was tired and sad and alone and just needed a place to be, just needed someone to hold her.

And damn if he didn't want to be that someone.

"What is it Jayne?" She asked him with a touch more concern that was really necessary. But he s'pposed he wasn't making the most pleasant face now.

Damnit, he wouldn't be the one she needed because it was just wrong. She was too young and too innocent and too…just too gorram good for someone like Jayne Cobb damnit.

"It's nothin'." He grunted the reply and hardened his face to stop any argument. Thankfully she took the hint and didn't press. But his heart stuttered weakly when she squeezed his hand back for a moment before letting it go and rejoining the conversation.

………

Eventually dinner was over and the crew and passengers went their separate ways.

"I uh…I s'ppose I'll set you up a place somewheres." Jayne mumbled as she followed him down a passageway. The corridors were empty and they all looked the same to Madisyn.

"Set me up a place?" she looked up at him with her head tilted to the side like a love-sick puppy and it twisted his heart all up in knots.

He replied while rubbing his chest, hoping to ease the ache in his chest. "Yeah, I'm not gonna press myself on you, don't worry 'bout that."

_He always speaks so gruffly._ Half of Madisyn grinned to herself but…She was partly relieved he didn't expect sex from her (because of course she was nervous) but she was also partly disappointed. _Why the hell would he not want to sleep with you?! He liked me last night, right? I distinctly remember him enjoying it. Of course…_ she mused _I don't exactly remember much…_

She couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't leave her a pathetic, needy simpleton. So she just smiled indulgently up at him and let him interpret it however he chose.

"I guess you'll have a need for your things…" he muttered almost more to himself than the woman who walked just behind him. He turned abruptly and they were in what must have been the cargo bay.

Surely enough, a few cases were propped in a corner bearing tags with Madisyn's name on them. Jayne wouldn't let her carry the two bigger ones so she felt a little insignificant as she slung her toiletry bag over her shoulder. However she found it hard to suppress her grin. _Yep, the armor may be a little banged up…but it's armor none the less._

As they kept walking, Madisyn began to get a feel for the ship. She'd learned it was a Firefly Class so she knew that it was shaped like a '+'. And it seemed that it had two main levels. Unfortunately, she remembered how to get to Jayne's room from the dining area and from there it seemed he was leading her as far away as was possible.

"Here's one of the passenger's berths." He grunted and slid a screen to the side. Revealed was what Madisyn assumed was a standard room. It was like that of a hotel except for the slight curvature of one wall. "Toilet's here." He muttered, putting her things down by the bed and kicking the toilet's release. With a small hissing sound it popped out of the wall. "Here's the sink." He pushed the toilet back before repeating with the sink. "And uh…" he rubbed the back of his neck and didn't look at her. "There's a showerin' room down the hall. Sign outside the door…" he looked around, trying to think of anything else, when he couldn't he clapped his hands together and turned to leave. "Well, if that's all then, I'm goin' to sleep, so…if you need anything…yeah."

_Uh…do we shake hands? Hug? Kiss? Why does this have to be so awkward?!_ Madisyn shoved all of her jumbled emotions back as far as she could and instead mustered a kind smile for Jayne. "If I need anything, I'll figure it out." Jayne took a moment before giving her a smile back.

But his face wasn't made for insincerity and it looked wrong for him to smile without really feeling it.

"Sleep well Jayne." She put a hand on his bicep. "And thank you for…everything."

He merely grunted and walked out the door. "You sleep good to." He called back to her gruffly just before he disappeared around a corner.

Madisyn sighed and closed her door. Surveying her room she decided she needed a shower to mull over everything. "Sleep good, my ass." She mumbled sardonically.

……….

**AN-alrighty, well, the next chapter is where it really starts to get good. Nothing naughty yet so don't worry/get your hopes up too high, just yet. I'd love to hear from you so leave a review, even if it's just a short little blurb about something that confused you or you found funny. Even something saying that you read it and your general feel for the story makes me a happy camper **_**and**_** I get motivated so**__**it makes the writing better. :)**

**Much love**

**~Ceilidh**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

**AN-part of this **_**was**_** going to be in chapter three, but I had to get this ending out, so here it is! A little Jaynie/Madi time.**

"Ha!" Jayne huffed as he headed to take one hell of a freezing cold shower. "Sleep well, my ass." He had a towel in over one shoulder and a pair of pants over the other and me stomped more forcefully than usual in an attempt to work out his frustration.

He'd tried to go to sleep like the girl'd said, but he just lay in his bunk tossin' and turnin' till he couldn't stand it anymore. So he jumped up and stomped out to his weights and worked himself into a sweat until he couldn't finish another rep. Then he'd grabbed a towel and a pair of pants (you did _not_ want to get caught pant-less on this ship. Hell you'd never hear the end of it) and now here he was.

'Course the damn showers had to be down by the passenger's rooms. _I'll just slide in, slide out. Won't make a sound. She'll never know I was here._

He crept into the bathroom with a thundering heart. He couldn't decide what he'd do if he saw Madisyn in here. But he was half afraid he'd throw her against the wall and take her in the spray.

_Stop it!_ He wanted to hit his _own_ self. _She's not really your wife. She doesn't need you for anything 'xcept keepin' her safe. Plus she don't even want you._

Jayne was alone in the bathroom and sighed in relief. Then he sighed again in disappointment. His memory of last night may've been a bit fuzzy but he sure as _hell_ remembered what she looked like naked. …and how she felt- _Stop it! _He yelled at himself. _I don' wanna._ Another part of him countered. _'sides, she sure acted like she wanted you awful bad last night…_

In the end he finished his shower in peace and trudged back up to his own lonely bunk, his arms and legs felt like lead and his back and stomach were sore. But the burn from the workout would be a good pain, come this time tomorrow.

He laid himself down on his back with his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. Settling down to sleep, his last thought was of how nice it'd be if Madisyn were there in the dark beside him.

………..

Madisyn woke with a start, as a scream died in her throat.

She had been dreaming. She knew that. She was safe on Serenity. Niska had no idea where she was, and even if he did there was no way he could've caught up with them. Space was big.

But his accented voice still rang in her ears. The memory of the one time they'd met and the dream she'd just awoken from made her blood coagulate in her veins. In real life he'd not spoken directly to her. He'd not touched her. But in the dream he did all he promised her father he would.

She'd been chained where her father's blood still flaked on the floor, stick in some places against her bare feet. And Niska _was _a sadistic bastard.

No, not a bastard. There were more than enough good bastards in the world. Niska was a…_He's a _monster_!_

Alone in her dark bunk, Madisyn couldn't calm herself. Her heart pounded so hard she could feel the skin on her chest twitching. _Maybe I should go take a shower…_But she quickly discarded the idea. No way was she going to venture out of the illusion of safety that was her room to go be naked and unprotected somewhere else.

_I wish Jayne were here._ A tiny voice whimpered from deep inside her core and an image of her wrapped safe in his strong arms permeated her vision.

She shook her head.

It was a stupid thought. He wasn't anything to her. Yes, he said he'd protect her from her biggest fear. But he wasn't her _boyfriend._ Just because they were technically married didn't make him her husband.

_Go to him._ Another voice commanded. And, scared as she was, in the dark, in a strange new place…she did.

…..

Creeping through the halls in the dead of night (although who could tell what time it was off planet?) Madisyn made her way to Jayne's bunk. She had to think about the ship's layout to get to the Mess, but she remembered where his room was from there.

_I hope he doesn't-_ she cut off her own thoughts and focused only on the sound around her. Waiting for some sign someone else was around, or that Niska had somehow, magically got onboard and was stalking her. _Don't think, don't think, don't think._ Lord knew thinking was only going to get her more scared and she'd chicken out before she even reached her destination.

_Don't be mad._ She preyed when she pushed open Jayne's door. It wasn't locked, so she wasn't _technically_ doing anything bad.

_Yeah, but you didn't knock either._

She climbed down the rungs as quietly as possible and ghosted to his bunk. In the dim glow of something in his room she could see dark circles under his eyes and haggard lines of strain on his face and her heart ached. _You're responsible for at least some of that you know._

_I know…_ _I just…I have to ask him for this one thing more…as selfish as that makes me._

…_I need him._

She took her robe off, draping it across a chair, and moved closer to his bed.

He jerked awake just as she was getting close. "Whu!?" he huffed, reaching for a weapon.

"Shhh." She soothed, feeling ashamed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, shh, it's ok. It's just me." She climbed up beside him, running her hands over his chest and arms.

"Madi?" he mumbled sleepily, there was a dopey little smile playing across his lips and Madisyn felt a tugging low in her stomach and an almost undeniable urge to kiss it.

_Did he mean 'Madi' or is he just to tired to say my whole name?_

"It's me." She answered softly and scooted down so she could lay beside him.

He was awake enough by now to think and a frown slowly shadowed his features. _But is there a hint of uncertainty there?_ She wondered. _Is it wishful thinking? Or does he want me?_

"What're you doin' here?" He whispered. But before she could answer he jerked up to his elbows and grabbed her arms. "Are you a'right? Did somethin' happen? What's wrong?!"

"It's nothing." She moved her own hands to his arms, gripping him not to hold him, but to reassure him…_Right._ "It's nothing. I'm fine."

He didn't look like he would accept that answer. But telling him the truth felt stupid.

_It's either feel stupid or feel like a slut._ She told herself. _You were either scared and you needed him, or you were horny and you needed him. Which do you want him to think of you when you're gone?_

"It's just," she faltered but continued, looking away from him. His brows were furrowed but his eyes were wide as he searched her face for…something, "It's just, I had a nightmare…can I sleep with you?" She added in a small, weak voice.

..........

_Can she sleep with you?! Are you kiddin'!!? Hell yes! Of _course_ she can sleep with you! This is just what I've always wanted. _Jayne felt like his Christmas list had just been made a reality. His sexy little non-wife-wife had crept up on him in the middle of the night, with her hair all loose and tumblin' down and her creamy skin covered by that soft, _thin_ nightgown of hers…She'd come to _him._ Scared from a nightmare she'd come to _him_ to protect her, and damn if that didn't just endear her to him a little more.

No one came to him for protection. And certainly not comfort. His mind scoffed at the thought. Not even his little brother Matty came to him with the innocence of this little chit. But here she was…_disbelief. That is what this is called. You're experiencin' disbelief._

"Um…" Madisyn blushed. _ I guess I shoulda said somethin' _"so…can I stay with you?"

He said nothing, just shimmed to the edge and pulled on her until she was draped over him. She squeaked a little, her eyes were wide, but he thought he saw a bit of a smile pulling at her lips.

…_her lips…_

"You sleep by the wall." He commanded, his voice deeper than he normally used and gravely from sleep.

She sighed when he settled her down in the crook of his arm and a smile _did_ spread across her face when he wrapped his other arm over her, pulling her tight, keeping her safe. "Better?" He breathed in her scent and spoke softly into her hair gruffly. Her warm weight seemed to anchor her to reality more than anything had in the past.

"Much better." She wiggled closer, tighter into his embrace and kissed his arm. "Thank you Jayne." She whispered.

It was quiet and dark in his bunk. And he'd been riding with Mal and Zoe for quite some time now. But Serenity had never felt more like home than it did right that instant with his wife in his arms. Sleep dragged him down but he wanted to enjoy the moment.

_Enjoy it because you can never have it again. You're not gonna rut her and doin' this some more'll just lead you to doom._ _Remember, she was drunk. She don't want you._

_But a man can dream…_

"Sleep Madi." He murmured and held her close, drifting off with a smile on his face.

**AN-Yay! And here we get a little glimpse into something fun…Tell me what you think. Again, I **_**am**_** thinking of taking it down because I'm not too happy with the way it's all flowing (think of this as my rough draft), so leave a review and tell me what you think I can do to improve it. Or just tell me what you thought in general. Short reviews are better than no reviews!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**AN-Ok, so I had to do some digging (and subsequently some math) to figure out this whole 'just how old is everyone issue'. Now Madisyn is four years older than River-so she's twenty-one. Numerous sites on the internet give DOBs for characters in Firefly so I've calculated (and it **_**is**_** the internet and my shoddy math so feel free to correct) that, since Simon flat out tells us River is seventeen, that Jayne is forty. Yep. And based on info I got off the web, that said **_**they**_** got it off the movie, Mal is twelve (read that Twelve) years older than Jayne. So…Fifty-two. Now, I'm gonna let you all absorb that. Then forget it because…dude. You serious? Something must have gone seriously wrong somewhere. I'd say no one on that boat (with the exception of our dear Shepherd) is past their forties. So…suspend math (because it sucks) and let's just pretend life's what it looks like. **

Waking up next to someone wasn't usual for Madisyn Morgan. _Uh…strike that. I guess it's Madisyn Cobb now…?_

But it was especially odd because she wasn't in the relatively respectable position she'd been in when she fell asleep. No, now her nightgown was hiked up around her waist and she and her 'husband' were wrapped up together like a birthday present. And was that, pressing against her thigh…was that a-! Yep. _Happy birthday to me._ The dirtier part of her mind smirked. _An erection, just what I've always wanted. _

_Shut up!_ Another half chimed in. _Besides, don't all guys wake up…jolly?_

_Well,_ dirty Madi (or syn) rejoined _I'm just glad he's waking up 'jolly' with me._

Madisyn forced herself to stop thinking for a moment. It was too early to have to deal with her brain just yet. Or so she assumed. She couldn't see a clock and there was no way she could extract herself gracefully without Mr. Cobb's assistance.

But she had to admit; waking up beside Jayne (if you could call it 'beside') had a certain…comfort to it. He was warm, and…well altogether cuddly. His stubble gently rasped her face when she moved her head from the hollow formed between his neck and his shoulder. It almost tickled. And he smelled pretty good for a guy. As she studied him and allowed herself to really _feel_ his body against hers…something started to tug deep in her stomach. She felt an odd _yearning_ for him.

_I do _not_ want him to want me. I don't!_

Yet she wasn't a child. She knew her body's reactions. And she'd be lying if she said her body wasn't telling her she was ready for him. She'd also be lying if she denied she…kind of wanted him. A bit. Sorta.

Ok, a lot.

_Stupid, stupid Madi. You're going to go for it aren't you? You're just going to say 'hump it' and go! _

_Yeah, yeah. You only live once. And it's not like I've ever been married before. I may as well try it out!_

Before she could argue with herself more Jayne's breathing changed, he made a grunting sound and shifted slightly. He tightened his burly arms around her. And she sighed in contentment.

But she couldn't resist; she squirmed a little, pressing herself deeper into his embrace, making sure to 'accidentally' nudge his John Thomas with her leg, a soft, feminine moaning sigh aimed right toward his ear.

His body started to respond, pulling her even closer, he started to nuzzle her neck…and with her pleased sigh he began to wake up.

….

"Uh," Jayne pulled back from the blond all tangled up with him "morning."

"Morning Jayne." She smiled and pressed closer to him.

_Ah, shit. What do I do?_

"I guess," Madisyn spoke quietly, her voice a little husky form sleep, "since we're married and all, I could ask you a question…?"

She looked so damned good. And 'damned' was the operative word. The Shepherd's words about that 'special Hell' floated back into his mind.

_No, not gonna flip her over and pull that damned flimsy gown over her head. …ah gorramit! It's all already pulled up, her legs are so smooth-No! Stop!_

She was arched back to look him in the face, even though she was doing that adorable looking-down thing she did, and it caused her lower parts to push against his, and her breasts were right there, swelling outta her top and-

"Uh, yeah." He cleared his throat. "You kin ask me a question. Sure."

_Damn with that little giggle of hers!_ He was already hard; had been dreamin' of _her_ of all things.

"So, um…" She blushed and looked down again. "_Is_ it true that men _always_ wake up…with uh…"

_She is not. No way in gorram hell is she talkin' 'bout... _ She pressed her hips gently but firmly against his before pulling back just a little.

"With an…erection?"

"Uh!" He grunted in a startled sorta manner. She gave him a soft, blushing smile and laid her head back down on his shoulder. Jayne found it was a might easier to talk when she wasn't peerin' up at him beneath her angel eyelashes and her sex kitten hair. "Well, uh…I guess, yeah, it's pretty common. You kin say."

"Hmm." She thrummed throatily. "I was wondering if maybe…" She trailed off and his mouth went dry.

"If maybe?"

"Ah," she shook her head and he could feel her skin heatin' in another blush, "it's nothing. Forget I said anything."

"Now, now." _Why are you goin' down this road?! Don't do it! _"You kin tell old Jaynie, bao bei. We _are_ marrit after all." He tried to give her a cheeky but reassurin' smile and nudged her gently with his knee.

She was still blushin' somethin' fierce but she answered with an unsure and sheepish but (dare he hope) dreamy look on her face. "I was just wondering if maybe…it was…for me." She finished softly but threw in "Or something."

_Does she _want_ it to've been for her?! Cause I'll be stript nekkid and flown about in my own hometown if it tweren't._

"Madi…" He wanted to groan aloud and take her right then and there but he knew it'd be bad. She was just a girl with an evil sadistic crazy-man out to get her…But he did groan, just a little, and he pulled her close, burying his face in her hair and breathed deep.

"Jayne…" she sighed, one little hand slidin' up to hold on to his neck.

"Madi, it's not…_not_ for you." He felt a little strangulation as he tried to…hell he didn't know what.

Madisyn pulled back, thrusting her chest up and pushing her hips to his again. "Jayne?" She asked in a quiet little voice, her eyes were at half mast and he'd be damned if she didn't keep starin' at his mouth and licking her lips.

"Yes, darlin'?" He more rumbled than talked. But he couldn't pull himself together enough to have a polite conversation when she was makin' those squirmy little moves against him.

"I, uh…" She licked her lips again, and with a soft moan, closed her eyes and leaned into him. Pressing her lips against his.

For what must have been a full lifetime Jayne Cobb's world stopped. Not that he was planet-side or anything…

_Oh, Madi…My Madi…_ He groaned and held her closer, one hand stroking her back, the other wrapped in her hair, cradlin' her head so he could mold his lips to hers better.

Jayne wasn't a champion kisser by any means. Hell, he went out of his way, purposeful, like to avoid any mouth on mouth contact. But with this little bundle of tasty in his arms…in his bed…_crawling up on top of him!_

"Madi!" He panted, pulling back from her and trying to force his hips down and away from where they really, really wanted to be.

She took a shaky breath as well, her pulse hammered in her throat and it fascinated him. After a few moments she looked around and seemed to realize what was going on.

"I can't believe I just did that…I'm sorry." She looked mortified and squirmed off of him. Which of course only made her wriggle against all the places he shouldn't have wanted her to.

"Don't worry bout it bao bei. I, uh…I'm just gonna…" he frowned, unable to even come up with a good excuse. _The girl's gettin' to yeh, Jayne. _He warned himself.

"I just-" she seemed to stutter. "I've never done that before I-well, I mean I guess I have but…" She trailed off, and that dreamy look came back into her eye.

_Oh no. Stop her right there Jayne Cobb. _She licked her lips while staring at his again and he stopped thinkin'. With that cute little confused frown on her face…he pulled her face to his and fused his lips to hers.

_This is what you want. Madi, my Madi._ He was in heaven, pressed against his girl. And she was his. Right? _We're marrit. That's all that matters. Oh, my Madi…_

……

Madisyn couldn't help herself. Jayne was just so…just so damned delectable! _You're in over your head girl_. She tried to warn herself but she was to busy trying to touch as much of Jayne as possible to listen.

"Oh, Jayne." She sighed as he turned her over and pressed her deeper into the bunk. He was so big, he made her feel so feminine and protected. "Jayne!" she gasped when his head dipped down to let him do something wicked to her neck. She clutched at him and arched against him and tried to get inside him. She couldn't get close enough. She needed more.

"More!" She gasped the word just as he groaned it.

"Oh, Jayne. Jayne!" She couldn't stop saying his name.

_Probably because you're too far gone to think of anything smart to say, hormone slave._

_Shut up! Stop trying to ruin it!_

"Madi…" Jayne groaned and he crawled on top of her; his big, calloused hands sliding against the bare skin at her waist, sliding her nightgown up even higher.

"Yes. Yes Jayne." She panted and tried to get a hand on his pant's buttons. He groaned again at the contact and she realized she really, really loved the sound.

"**Jayne, do you know where in Gorram Hell your little wife-y is?" **Mal's voice interrupted from the intercom yet again.

"Shit!" Jayne's eyes were wide and he practically jumped off of her. Madi groaned and threw her head back. _Gorram captain has to ruin everything doesn't he?_ She wanted to yell and hit something because she knew by the way Jayne flung himself off that he wouldn't get back into that bunk with her easily. And she was really starting to never want to leave it.

"Uh, yeah Cap'n." Jayne was breathing heavily and Madisyn was quickly getting cold without his body heat. But she refused to push her nightgown back where it went or to pull up the sheets in an attempt to convince her man that he wanted to pick up where they were interrupted.

"**Well then, where is she? Kaylee went inta see what our newest stray eats for to break her fast and she ain't there."**

"Uh, she's right here Mal." Jayne seemed to busy catching his breath and staring at Madi's naked, flushed flesh and tousled hair to say anything else.

"**Huh." **There was a pause before Mal continued in a pleasant enough voice, **"Well, idn't that romantic. I'm sure our good Shepherd Book would agree whole hearted. Mornin' there Miss. Cobb."**

Madi sat up and waved at the com in the wall; at a complete loss.

"Uh, she says hey." Jayne muttered back, fastening up his fly.

_Well, there goes any hope of a repeat performance now._ She sighed and shoved to her feet, pushing her gown back down and combing her hair flat a little forcefully, feeling a might lightheaded.

…….

"We shouldn've done that." Jayne murmured harshly, pointedly not looking at Madisyn.

_Why the Hell not!?_ Madisyn grunted, noncommittal.

"It's not right." Jayne tried to validate.

_I will not say 'whatever'._

"You're too young fer one thing,"

"So it's _my _fault now? I'm pretty sure 21 is legal on all planets, Jayne Cobb."

"Yeah but," Jayne looked around for inspiration. "You're…"

She sighed "I'm what?"

"You're," he tried again "You're a rich girl, you got a good upbringin' you don't belong here."

"Ok, first off? Not rich. Second off, if by good upbringing you mean gambling and lies and death sentences…well shit, you must have had a _bang up_ childhood." She jerked her robe off the back of the chair and flung it on quickly.

_I'm _not_ going to get emotional. _

_Yeah, just so long as he stops making you feel inferior. _

"Gorram it Madisyn!" He almost ripped his t-shirt with how hard he pulled it on. "We're not gonna do this again! You got a nightmare…why don't you take it to the good doctor! Have a ruttin' reunion fer all I care!"

"'Fer all you care'?! Then why are you _yelling!_"

"Damnit Madi!" He had his hands in front of him like he wanted to shake her. Or choke her.

"_Why_ are you making this so _difficult?_"

"_I'm _makin' it difficult?! Oh, darlin' it's not me that's makin' this hard."

_Don't say it Madi, don't say it._

"Well if I'm making it _hard_ why not let me take care of it?!"

Jayne opened his mouth to retort back but froze when the meaning of her words hit him.

"Did you just-?"

"I've not lived on Osiris for a couple of years now sweetheart. I'm not exactly the prim princess you seem to want to paint me."

Jayne opened and closed his mouth a number of times but when it became clear he wasn't going to come up with anything brilliant to say Madi swept past him and hauled herself up and out of his room with an exasperated huff.

She just managed to avoid humanly contact on her way to her own bunk, which she counted as a blessing, because as soon as she slid her door shut, tears burst form her eyes and started leaking down her face.

_They're _angry_ tears. I'm not hurt. No. I'm pissed. Rutting bastard is an idiot and…Gorramit! Why can't he just want _me_?! _Why_ does he confuse me so!?_

…_And why can't I just find _home_…?_

She collapsed face down on her bed and a barrage of images spun unbidden through her mind. Her father coming home late after she was supposed to be in bed, her mother's face crumpling when she realized he hadn't been working late. The concerned but disgusted looks on the faces of her parents' friends as they realized the family was floundering. Niska's face as he warned her father. Niska's men's faces as they fiddled with their weapons. Her mother's haggard, sickly body, her funeral. Niska taking away her father just feet from their front gate-

All she'd ever dreamt about as a child was making a home of her own. Someplace _safe_. With people she could _trust_. Where she could relax and enjoy life.

And damned Jayne Cobb had made her feel that. If just for a few moments. Night before last he'd shown her a world of fun. He'd protected her. He'd made her feel…important? Feminine? Like she'd never been treated before. She wasn't just an object to him as she was to the other men she'd gambled with. And she wasn't a title; not a 'daughter' or a 'debtor' or a 'student' or a 'cast member'. It had seemed that she was just _herself._ He treated her like _Madi_. Like a woman who shouldn't just be brushed aside.

And then again this morning…Stupid man had made her feel…_desired._

But as soon as reality came back and he was reminded that there was a 'verse outside his bedroom…well then. That's where it got fun now wasn't it?

As she lay alone in her cold bed her body felt his against her own. The remembered skin on skin; she could almost feel him inside her once more and she sighed at the ghostly touch. She wanted _that_. The feeling of his strong arms wrapped securely around her, of his broad chest, his shoulders engulfing her. She wanted to feel the ecstasy she hadn't expected him to bring to her and she wanted to feel his as he let go inside of her.

_Stop it._ She told herself sternly. _Guys wake up like that. It wasn't _you._ He obviously doesn't want you. Don't get hung up on him. _

_But I…_

……

Gorram girl really had to go and mess with his head now didn't she?

Jayne looked down at his ring while tying his boots. He hadn't taken it off yet…It just felt wrong to.

And o' course Mal had to call him down to the Mess, like he _really_ needed to eat breakfast with him. He winced as he straightened and went to climb up to the top deck. He was sore from his workout, and he was sore from sleepin' funny last night and he was sore from that damned little minx rubbin' all over him like-

_Stop right there Jayne Cobb! Just stop. _

He didn't have much time to think as he made his way to the Mess. Just scrub a hand over his face and hair and let out a gusty sigh. He was really lost. He felt like he was just floatin' in space without any thrusters and he had no idea where to go or how to get there.

_Damnit Madisyn Cobb! This just ain't _right_._

_But it feels right. Maybe…maybe you've been livin' wrong. Maybe you're supposed'ta git close to someone like…well maybe-_

_Bi zui! Stop thinkin' about it._

……

Both Madisyn and Jayne were quiet at the breakfast table and it didn't go unnoticed. After the preliminary small talk of the womenfolk (and the doctor and the Shepherd) asking Madi how her night had been (and River answering "…unexpected.") a silence fell upon them. A silence Mal must've felt the need to destroy.

"So," he asked friendly "how's your bunk fit two?"

Jayne spluttered and everyone else sat in stunned silence.

"Bit of a tight fit, Mrs. Cobb?" Mal's voice was sugar sweet and nonchalant, he took an unconcerned sip from his mug.

"Not with a bit of maneuvering Captain." Madisyn answered with a fiery challenge in her eye and a cocky tilt to her head.

Jayne choked on his coffee.

"I hope your sexin' was real nice." Threw in Kaylee, always cheerful.

"We didn't-" Jayne stuttered "There was no-"

"Sadly," Madi folded her hands under her chin and faced Kaylee like no one else was present, "there was no sexing. Mr. Cobb refuses to have anything to do with me."

The Shepherd Book, who'd looked appalled and very disapproving turned to Jayne with a disbelieving, but very pleased expression.

"Now, that's not-I mean to say, I…" Jayne floundered and Madi gave him a cold look.

"Well now." Mal looked rather pleased with himself.

"Yes? You mean to say?" Madi arched a brow.

Wash broke in, in an effort to diffuse the hostility "Did you know that some Pterosaurs had _hair_?"

**AN- I had to stop here. I hate to see mommy and daddy fighting. :( I'll try and get the next chapter up soon, and hopefully I can get past the strife. However I fear there's at least one more chapter of Jayne and Madi not clicking and they're not going to just fall onto the same page together. There's going to have to be some (Shudder!!) dreaded conversations. And no one likes to have 'the talk'. So if there are any suggestions as to how I can lighten it up, (or tell me if you don't want me to I guess…) then drop me a review. Hell, drop me a review anyway. Please? Kudos to those who've already given me feedback, you really are the greatest!! :)**

**Much love**

**~Ceilidh **


	6. Sex and Marriage

Chapter 6

**AN-This took longer than I'd hoped but here you go! Chapter six is up! Please review and tell me what you think!**

_How can time pass so slowly…and at the same time go so fast?_ Madi wondered despondently. After all, she'd only been with Jayne…could it be? Only two nights (one of which she could hardly remember)? And yet it made perfect sense. She didn't know him, he didn't know her. It was as simple as that. And there was _no_ way she wanted to spend another second in his presence if he was going to keep acting like an idiot. …because that's the way he was acting…and Madi didn't like it. Yeah.

Breakfast had been eaten and Madi was going to slink back to her room and hide again. Lord knew if she spent much more time in the presence of her _husband_…She sneered at the thought. Well, things could get ugly.

And that captain looked like he'd rain hellfire and destruction down on her head if she knocked any of his crew around.

_Stupid Jayne, stupid life, stupid laws that allow you to get married without waiting! Goddamn Niska!! …and stupid me. I should've just kept running. I'd stayed in Beaumonde too long._

"Madi!" The cheerful one, Kaylee, called out just as she was leaving the Mess. Wash and Zoe and the Captain were all headed to the bridge. Jayne was clomping to the sink area to help with the dishes the Shepherd had already started. Madi didn't like the way he looked at her so she was about ready to go anywhere to stay away from the holy man. Priests, and the like, had always unnerved her. _I suppose it's 'cause they don't take too kindly to gamblers…_

Inara had already left for her private shuttle after talking with Kaylee _What I wouldn't give to be able to fly out of here._ And Simon was shepherding River away. The younger girl tossed Madi a smile over her shoulder as they left the room but it was different from the ones she used to give out. Something had definitely happened to her old friend. And the way Simon was acting…It didn't look to be temporary.

"Madi!" Kaylee called again.

"Oh!" She snapped her head up "Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night."

Kaylee grinned from ear to ear and nodded knowingly "Ah, I just bet you didn't. Come on! Inara and me want to git to know yeh a little better! We'll have girl time in her shuttle!"

And with that Madi was swept up and plopped down in the middle of an alien land.

_And I thought the Mess was great for a ship, this place is…gorgeous._

"I see Kaylee's convinced you to come away from Jayne for a little while." Inara gave a soft, wry smile.

"Uh, yeah. That wasn't too hard for her."

"So!" Kaylee bounced up on the bed and grabbed a pillow to clutch to her chest. "Tell us all about it. Don't spare us any mushy details on Jayne's part neither."

As infectious as her smile was, and as much as Madi wished she could relax and have fun and make friends…she knew it'd be better if she didn't.

After all, she'd spent some very important developmental years running from anything and everything and she'd learned quickly not to get tied up with people and never to tell the truth.

"I don't normally drink so early in the morning, but this is a special occasion. I wish I had something better to offer…but, uh…" Inara held up a wine bottle and Kaylee beamed then gestured toward it with the tasseled pillow.

"That's my wine there. I created an inter-engine fermentation system." Clearly, she was proud of herself.

"Well, after the night before last…" Madi tried to smile but was pretty sure it came out a grimace. "I really shouldn't."

But as Kaylee urged and Inara poured elegantly, Madisyn's mind drifted off. She tried to categorize the reasons why she shouldn't drink.

_One; last time you blacked out some._

_Two; last time you ran into Niska's men._

_Three; __**last time you got married and had sex with a complete stranger and woke up in space with nothing but your clothing and a new name!**_

_Course, you did get a pretty ring out of it…And you got to have sex with a hunky stranger…who protected you from your enemies and held you when you were scared…_

_Yeah, it was all great fun…until it sucked! _

_Now he doesn't want to have anything to do with you. Stupid, burly man! _And instantly Madi was swirling in a sea of sad emotions. Rejection'll do that to a girl. As will fear and hurt and anger and confusion.

So she grabbed Inara's biggest cup and plopped herself down on a couch.

"Where would you like to start?" she tried to make her jaded tone humorous for the benefit of the other ladies, then she downed the entire glass in one go.

……..

Five cups into Kaylee's Engine wine and Madisyn was having trouble remembering to censor herself. Her speech had already deteriorated since she got aboard Serenity. After all, why bother being proper when you no longer care about impressing anyone. But now it'd worsened dramatically.

"An' _then_," She gestured with her cup, just managing not to spill because it was nearly empty. Inara and Kaylee were laughing in hysteria over Jayne's rescue as they were all splayed across Inara's massive bed "he swept me up in his damned muscle-y arms an' he carried me up the stairs and threw me on my bed!"

"Ah!" Kaylee exclaimed happily, "so there _was _premarital sexin' after all! What was it like!?"

Madi frowned in thought and the other girls followed suit. Had the blond been thinking clearly she would have found the Companion's frown humorous; Inara's face was not made for such things.

"No," Madisyn mused "no he didn't take my clothes off yet. But he crawled on top of me and held me down and…."She sighed and shivered. "The things that man kin do with his mouth are…unspeakable!"

"It's so weird to think of _Jayne_ like that! I mean! It's _Jayne!_" Kaylee squished up her nose.

"Jayne?" Inara asked skeptically, slurring just a little. "Jayne Cobb, Jayne? The brutish muscle who flies the black aboard Serenity and never 'kisses em on the mouth', Jayne?"

"Well, he kisses _me _on the mouth." Madi smiled a little smugly before she lost her levity. "Or at least he used to." She looked crestfallen and felt burning in the back of her eyes.

"There, there." Kaylee put an arm around her newfound best friend. "Jayne's just a stupid boy. We'll figure somethin' out. After all, _somebody_ on this boat needs some sexin' afore we all get _kuang zhe de_. An' Wash an' Zoe don' count fer it."

"True." Inara agreed. "What we need is to seduce him back to you! It won't be hard. He's clearly infatuated."

"He is?" Madi perked up, hope swelling in her breast, but; "Wait! Then why won't it be hard?!" panicked Madi, misunderstanding Inara's words.

Inara looked confused but Kaylee started snorting in laughter and spilled her wine down herself.

"No, he'll be hard Madi." She reassured, licking the alcohol off her arm.

"Pardon me," There was a knocking outside and then the old Shepherd came in.

He glanced around the room and stood stunned when he saw the women. All three had taken off some article of clothing (because as Madi'd said; "It's too gorram _hot_ in this _gorram ship_!!!") and looked positively sinful in their half-drunken dishabille, in Book's eyes.

"Oh, excuse me." he muttered quickly.

"Shepherd Book!" Inara and Kaylee cried out simultaneously. Kaylee with joy and affection, Inara with a drunken version of her graciousness.

"Come on in!" Kaylee's smile grew even wider as she threw her arms open to him. "We broke out my engine wine!"

"Yes, Shepherd Book, if you would join us we'd be…" Inara struggled to stifle a very unladylike burp, looking horrified by herself, "uh, delighted."

"Um," he struggled for words, "perhaps another time." And with that he turned tail and ran from the shuttle.

………….

"Gorramit! Ain't got time to be dealin' with this _Zao gao._" Jayne muttered to himself as he clomped down the hall between the Mess and his bunk. He was gonna go sulk alone in his room. Nobody'd bug him in there. They knew better.

But then he remembered that the last time he was in his bunk so was Madi. _Gorram that tasty piece o trim! She threw all my plans up in t' air!_

_What plans?_ A skeptical little piece of his mind spoke up. And it sounded oddly like his mother's voice. _You're just floatin' round the black with nothin' to tie you down. 'f yer not careful you'll just float away. Like to get spaced with no mooring. _

And Jayne had _nothin'_ to say to that. 'Course, he figured he could just keep on boozing and brawling until his back started to creak like his father's. Then he'd settle his self down someplace nice and quiet like, only get into a couple barroom brawls ever' once in a while…life'd be good.

"Jayne!" the captain's voice barked out from the bridge. "What're you doing?"

"Nothin'. Can't a man walk round this ship no more?" He answered defensive like.

"Not 's long 's I say he can't. No go get those girls outta Inara's shuttle. It's getting 'bout time for lunch and Kaylee's set to cook an' I ain't smelled anything coming from that Mess yet an' I'm not about to have my crew starve on me."

Jayne just stared at him for a beat, eyes narrowing in suspicion and confusion and maybe just a bit of a challenge. "You want me to go to Inara's shuttle to fetch the womenfolk?"

"That is what I said isn't it?" Mal leaned out the Bridge's threshold but Jayne could still see into the room behind him. Zoe was leanin' over Wash's chair and the two o them were smotherin' their laughter like schoolboys at Sunday service.

"An' you're not just gonna com em?" he looked pointedly at the intercom not two feet to Mal's left.

Captain Reynolds followed his gaze then straightened. "Com's not workin' proper." He said quickly. "Now go on down there right quick."

Jayne moved to argue again but Mal cut him off with a quick look and gave the muscle a reason to move when he challenged; "Now Jaynie, I turned down a perfect acceptable job out on Whitefall on account of the recent incident with the Reavers. An' I assumed you'd prefer as to _not_ go there any time soon. But I do believe the offer's still open if'n you'd like to take that one instead'a this."

Jayne wasn't a man to admit defeat too often. But he'd admit it if he were beat. Don't do no good not to.

Stifling curses and grinding his teeth he turned on his boot heal, giving his back to his captain. "Fine! I'll get the gorram women. It's not like I got anythin' more important to do. Like checkin' our defenses or nothin'."

Serenity wasn't a big ship and it didn't take long to reach Inara's shuttle. Jayne hadn't even finished muttering his profanities. But he took a big breath and buried it deep. He was used to controllin' himself when he had to.

And just because he didn't really want to deal with Madisyn at the moment, didn't mean he wanted to rip her head off.

Jayne stepped up to the door, breathing deeply and raised a fist to knock. Mal normally kept him away from Inara's shuttle. Not that Jayne had the coin to spend on a Companion. Hell he'd prefer just some sleazy broad at a bar. Doxies were cheaper anyway.

Standing outside the shuttle he heard something.

…He heard giggling. Feminine giggling. And it stirred something in him. He'd not heard that carefree sound in years. Not since before he'd taken up a mercenary's life of pain and solitude.

And damn it! Of course he had to be able to pick our Madi's laugh.

_Damn it, you should be the one makin' her laugh, man. _

_Bi zui, we've been through this Jayne. She ain't nothin' to us, and you ain't nothin' to her, so just leave it there. You're gonna protect her. That's all. You ain't gonna worry 'bout her happiness, just her safety. Yeah. _

_But hell, you never do nothin' for free. If she wants to pay you back for protectin' her with a little somethin'somethin', well then, who're you to put up a fight? _

_Stop it!_

Jayne knocked. Then stood there feelin' stupid. Should he stick his head in and announce the captain's orders? Should wait for one o them to answer the door? Or should he just yell through the damned thing?

Wait. Were they nekkid in there?! Were they throwin' pillows around in their unders like the girls he'd seen in that video?

"I know!" Madisyn's voice drifted out. The door wasn't closed all the way. "You'd think that a big guy like him'd be all rough and hard but…Jayne can be very tender. He was…well, it's not like I have much to compare it to but…God!" There was a sound like a body being hurled onto somethin' soft. Like a bed.

_Oh God! Is she all sprawled out on a bed? Is she talkin' 'bout me? Yeah! Why's she tellin' them 'bout our sexin'!?!_

"Ugh!" She groaned. "I wish he'd just get over whatever it is he's all hung up on and just take me back to his bunk!"

Jayne knocked again, unsure of what he should be feeling. Should he be ecstatic that she wanted him? Or should he be worried because he didn't want to hurt her and he wasn't gonna take her back to his bunk? Or should he be mad because she was talkin' 'bout what they did in their own private time?

Yeah, anger seemed the best choice.

"Oh! Jayne." Inara'd opened the door.

And while she looked a little more mussed than usual and smelled a little strongly of little Kaylee's wine, she wasn't coming out of an obvious playful girl-fight.

He was a little disappointed. But still angry.

"Captain wants lunch started." He grunted. He didn't want to look into the room. Not because he was afraid of layin' eyes on Madisyn. Course not. He just…didn't want to.

"And that's supposed to mean…?" _damnit! She _would_ have to say something to me wouldn't she?_

"It means Captain's ordered me to come down 'er and tell y'all to get into the Mess. Kaylee's cookin'."

"Oh." Madi climbed off the bed, looking like she struggled to think of somethin' to say. "Well…fine then." She looked around for a beat before letting out a little gasp. Her damned _pretty_ little eyes lighting up. "Then why didn't he just com us? Ha!"

"Com's down." Jayne grunted, holding onto his anger to keep from grabbing her. While Inara seemed generally unruffled, Madisyn was stripped down to a skimpy top looked somethin' like and undershirt. And he hadn't noticed the slit on the side of her skirt came up high on her thigh! He held back a groan. Damned woman was gonna drive him _Kuang zhe de!_

_No! Angry remember._ He wanted to growl. Did kinda.

"Oh." She said again. "That's stupid." She said like it was his fault. Sounded more like she meant _He _was stupid. Kaylee and Inara climbed past him out onto the catwalk.

"What? Are you pickin' a fight or somethin'?!" _How'd we get to this again? _

"Don't need to pick one if it's standing right there!"

He groaned, Inara and Kaylee looked back and forth between each other, part amused, part against the situation unfoldin' before 'em.

"Well, isn't that convenient? Why the _hell _'r'you talking 'bout me when I'm not here, woman?!"

"Because I _can_, man! You clearly don't have any _claim_ to me, so you can't tell me what to do!"

"Well, seems as I remember weddin' vows go along the lines of wives promisin' to _obey_ their husbands so-"

She interrupted him with a loud laugh. It seems as soon as they started speaking to each other, volume got higher and higher. "Ha! So far as _I _remember wedding vows include promising to _love _each other so…_ha!"_

"Well, shit, woman." Jayne's face was all screwed up in anger. But he let out a breath he didn't remember holding and the fight came out with it. He didn't need to be fighting with this girl. Even if she did confuse the hell outta him. That voice that sounded like his mother's voice rang around his head again; saying all sorts of thing about being nice to Madisyn and making her his _real_ wife-like figure.

Madisyn gave a pause at his quieter, tired tone. "Yeah, shit." She said, confused. But at least she weren't yellin' no more.

The rest of the ship seemed to dissolve, Kaylee and Inara fading away into nothing as Jayne looked down at the little woman before him. The one who'd come into his life and turned everything upside down.

"'M…sorry." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. Apologizing wasn't his normal way of speakin'.

Madi's eyes got all big and her forehead wrinkled up in that cute way of hers. She looked around again like she could find something to hold onto but after a little bit her shoulders slumped a little and she took a deep breath.

"I guess I'm kinda sorry to. Fighting like this is stupid. And I didn't mean to be…uncooperative…or anything. I shouldn't have thrown things we can't remember, and can't defend, up like that.

"Yeah, me too." They were awkward quiet for a minute there. Then Jayne let out a gusty sigh, "sure would be a lot easier if…I wish I could remember more of our wedding."

"Well, hell." Madi snorted delicately and swept past him out to the catwalk. "I wish I could remember more of loosing my _virginity_."

**AN-well, that took quite a bit longer than I had intended. Hopefully though, I'll be able to get the next chapter out more quickly. I wanted to get more of the rest of the crew (mainly Wash, 'cause he's making me love him, and Book was begging to give Madi a lecture) but I needed to get something out so…next chapter's just as good as any right? Oh, and I hope you like the last line I'm leaving you with. Madi spit it out into my head a few days ago and I've been dying to share it with you all. **

**As usual, please review or send me a message. Tell me what you think, how you feel, I don't care. All feedback is lovely. **

**Much Love!**

**~Ceilidh**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**AN-Thank you to everyone who reviews and adds the story to their alerts and such! And an extra big shout out to RionaEire who gives the greatest feedback and has a brilliant mind! Soon, my friend, soon!**

_Virgin? My __**wife**__is a VIRGIN?! _

_Was. Was a. And I…_

_Oh God. __Da xiang bao zha shi de la du zi. __How the _hell_ did I get myself into this mess? How'm I supposed to handle _this one_?! _

Jayne was in full panic mode. The girls had gone along before him, weavin' just a little. But now he was alone and he thanked all that was holy for it. He had a desperate need to think. And damnit, he didn't so much like thinkin'. Jayne was a man of action! Not a man o'…snivelin' alone in hiding somewhere.

What should he do though? For all that he'd kill a man for nothin', Jayne wasn't all bad. He had…_some_ sense of right an' wrong. Right?

_I mean, I picked this girl up, an' married her. And I took her as mine own. …Shit! Not even just that I rutted with her! I…deflowered her! And she's countin' on me to protect 'er. Sooo… so I should…do right by 'er. Right. Shit! What the hell am I thinkin'?!_

He'd made it down to his regular workout spot and sat down heavily on his old padded bench. He dropped his head in his hands and let out an explosive sigh.

There was no denyin' he wanted the girl. He'd never really wanted a _wife_…' least, not yet. But, if he had to have one…? Well, he'd never really wanted a virgin. He'd prefer a _Hu li jing _who knew what she was doin' and what she wanted. An' it'd be nice if she were from a world like his. Could cook for him, and bandage up his bullet wounds.

But maybe…maybe as a husband, it was his duty to _teach_ her about…ruttin'. He frowned to himself. And maybe he was supposed to help her find what she liked. Maybe it was his job not only to keep her safe, but to show her the 'verse. An' maybe, hell, maybe _he _should cook for _her._ She was a tiny little thing. Maybe her growth was stunted 'cause those damn rich core-folk didn't want to risk her fattenin' up. And, far as he could remember, she didn't run from a fight. When that _Liu kou shui de biao zi he hou zi de ben er zi _Niska's men had come for her...

Well of course they'd run at first. No sense getting' in a fight if'n there was more fun to be had elsewheres. But when they'd been cornered just outside her hotel, and he'd pushed her behind him to take care of the weak tenderfoots Niska thought were killers…Well, she hadn't run then when she could've gone up the stairs and barricaded herself, or called the patrol. No, she stayed by his side, even took a long, thin knife from her boot in case she had to fight herself.

So maybe…just maybe, she'd be a good wife for him.

But that wasn't of no importance. Even if he could drag her down int' his world…he wouldn't make a good husband. And shit, what if she got pregnant?! He couldn't be a father! Didn't know the first thing about runts! The only experience he had was with Matty, and he'd left home before Matty was even born…No, Madisyn needed someone…well, she needed someone strong to protect her now, and someone smart enough and old enough to teach her 'bout the 'verse…but…later…later she'd need someone who she could take out to stupid fancy society…things. And someone who could help her with their children.

_Ta ma de!_ The idea of someone else havin' babes with her-! Just the _thought_ an' Jayne felt ready to kill something.

_Ok, sooo maybe we'll not think on that. Yeah, she won't be havin' no kids with nobody. She won't be layin' with any man. She'll…hell maybe the Shepherd can hook 'er up with a place at that abbey…_

But even as he thought it, he felt bad. Madi deserved to have a strong, _loving_ man keep her bed warm. She was too beautiful and funny _not _to have children. She needed to pass that on. The 'verse'd be a sad place without her life an' light in it.

_Shit,_ Jayne sighed again and prepared to stand. Soon lunch'd be done and Mal'd make everyone go out huntin' for him if'n he didn't show. _You're not gettin' nowhere, Jayne. Best admit you're humped. _

Jayne thought through the souls on the boat, real quick like. Who could help him the most? 'Nara knew the most 'bout relationships and such. Shepherd could probably help him get his head straight too.

_Ugh!_ he shuddered. _Maybe not the Shepherd._

………….

"You know," Madi raised her voice to be heard over the clatter of pots and pans in the kitchen, from her place at the table "I have a feeling that I'm either going to be a drunk with a perma-hangover for the rest of my life," she spoke in a conversational manner before groaning and letting her head fall on her folded arms and groaning "or I'm never gonna drink again!"

"Now, that's something I like to hear!" Shepherd book came into the Mess just as the last part came out.

"Heya Shepherd!" Kaylee smiled.

"Shepherd Book." Inara blushed but nodded politely.

"Preacher man." River joined in as she stepped over the threshold on the other side of the room.

"Good afternoon, ladies." Book smiled and nodded and clearly pushed the image of most of the women present, drunk and disheveled out of his mind as he sat down next to the slumped figure that was Madisyn Cobb.

"How're you feeling my dear?" His voice was warm and soft. But he had that annoying tone of someone talking to a sick child who doesn't know anything.

Madi grunted in reply as the Mess started to fill; Simon and Zoe coming in from the back followed closely by Jayne, Wash and Mal from the front.

The grunt was rather loud. Book looked taken aback, Wash laughed and Zoe's mouth raised up at the corner. Simon looked confused. Jayne scanned the room quickly and Mal looked from his muscle to his newest passenger.

"Huh." He paused for a moment before striding forward, presumably to get a drink. "Guess she's more like you than first thought."

…….

Lunch was _hell_ for Madi. Everyone was talking so loudly. And banging the dishes about. Plus there was no way in all the 'verse she would eat any time soon.

"Could the beans be passed?" River's voice was soft and floated dreamily over Madi.

"Yeah. Sure." Madi tried not to grunt again (or vomit) as she picked up the pot and put it down again in front of her old friend.

"_Ge _Simon says that beans are good. But he also says gas is good. I just like the taste. But not when Jayne burns them." She gave a fierce frown. The kind only a kid could pull out.

Everyone looked kind of confused for a minute, but the crew looked pretty used to it.

"Oh!" Simon looked like a light bulb went off in his head. "Do you mean the time back on Persephone, River?"

The girl gave a quick nod while spooning beans onto her plate. After the fourth heaping scoop, Simon had to intervene.

"Well, if Mal hadn't come in followed by half a dozen armed mercs, then I could'a been at the stove to stir 'em. 'Sides, normally I'm not that bad." Jayne defended (and was actually backed up by a few crew members; Wash even exclaimed over something he'd created in the past) but he tried hard not to look at Madi while she had her eyes on him. Of course, she kept noticing him looking away every time she looked at him.

She wanted to scream but was pretty sure her head would actually explode if she did. _This is _not_ shaping up well Madisyn Mor…Cobb. Ugh. And _why_ does he keep looking at me!! He's such a child!_

_Oh, you know you're being just as big a child as is he Madi. _

_Shut up! Am not! _

_See?_

_Bi Zui! I'm not a child! He is! And it's his fault if he's all….Ching soh, Huai dan…-y. He's the one that pulled me out of my quiet little…existence…_ her anger started to fade. Here she was in the middle of space, safe at last but with a sense of adventure to keep her occupied. It wasn't really his fault if he revved her up so badly. _And it's not his fault if he doesn't like you._ She wanted to cry. _Maybe…just avoid him. Giving up isn't so bad. Just forget him._

_Besides, _she tried to bolster herself, _you don't really want _him, _you just want…a warm body…someone to look out for you and…pick you up when you start to trip and hold you in his strong arms…_ broken memories from the night they met swam through her mind's eyes. _Someone to make you smile when they make goofy faces over their drinks…someone who won't mind terribly when you beat the hell out of them at cards…someone who'll sooth you when you panic…someone who'll smile down on you when he lays you down…who'll put his forehead to yours and tell you how much you mean to him when he….no, not Jayne…definitely not_ him._ Just…someone…incredibly like him._

_Damn._

………

Madi managed to duck out of the Mess after lunch without the Shepherd coming up to her again. It seemed that while Kaylee was on cooking duty, Jayne and Book were dishes for the week. _I wonder if I'll get assigned a job?_ She mused idly while scurrying down to her cabin.

Once there she started up the little screen that connected her to the cortex and began sorting out which planets Serenity was flying past. Where would be the best place to set down? Not too controlled by Alliance, but far enough from the border planets that Niska could easily control.

Nothing looked too good anymore. Beaumonde had been good. Not too big, but certainly not too little either. Enough Alliance influence to keep the big dogs quiet but working. She could cheat there if she had to, and run when need be, while still staying planet-side. And Niska had a harder time getting to her there. Or at least he had. Now his men lay dead and broken on her doorstep, but she remembered a couple still breathing and at least one running. Niska probably knew exactly who she was with now.

And while Jayne had said he would take care of her and that he'd dealt with Niska before…she didn't want to put his life on Niska's list as well. But where else could she go. After Beaumonde (and a small part of her admitted, after Jayne Cobb) none of the other planets or moons looked appetizing.

"But you can't just stay here." She shut off the screen and tossed herself down onto her bed. Staring at the ceiling she tried to sort everything out. _Make a list_. She urged herself. _It'll help, it will_.

_Okay, so…1) The captain of the ship I'm aboard wants me off._

_2) I'm married to one of the ship's crewmembers. _

_3) We don't know each other. Don't love each other. Should get divorced._

_4)…uh, 4…Okay. I like him. I really do. He makes me hot and he makes me feel safe and comfortable and…Ok, I just like him. _

_5) Even though he's shown _some_ interest, he doesn't appear to actually want me back. _

_6)…Oh yeah. I have a crazy mad man after me. One whom my aforementioned 'husband' promised to protect me from but,_

_7) the captain's commanded I get off the ship, Jayne can't come with we without giving up his life, and I won't ask that. Therefore _

_8) Jayne and I must divorce. But that means _

_9) Jayne can't protect me. And I can never rejoin polite society. …not that I really want to. _

_10) this all leads to…_

"Nothing! I just keep going in circles!" She wanted to shout but knew that anyone else in this end of the ship would hear her. Then they'd come running and want to know what it was…ugh, no thank you.

"It there really anything I _can_ do?" She asked herself. But she already knew she was stuck. There wasn't any direction she could go without someone else budging on something. Unless it was setting down on some random planet without ever seeing Jayne again…

_For all he pisses you off that thought _should_ make you happy! But it doesn't. _

…..

It'd been a few days since Madisyn had woken up next to Jayne on Serenity. And Jayne thanked his lucky stars that he'd managed to avoid her since, what he wanted to call, the 'Nightmare Incident'. The crew'd picked up some cargo on Silverhold and were headed to drop it off on Tree Hills and that's all he wanted to focus on. Too bad this job didn't look to be as consumin' as it could. _Changin' things now'd be a bad idea, when you change the normal route, things turn sour._ He cautioned himself.

Of course there were some things he'd changed…

He tried a hell of a lot harder to avoid anyone else. But especially the damned Shepherd. And 'nara. He knew as soon as he had a spare moment with the Companion he'd spill his guts and ask her what the hell he was s'possed to do about his girl trouble.

He'd also started making sure his clothes were clean. He didn't care if they gave off an odd funk for the rest of his shipmates…but he didn't want Madi to think he was an animal…

Which is probably why he'd taken down the pictures that'd been stuck up by his bunk. Madisyn didn't seem to notice them the few times she'd been in his cabin, but he didn't want her to see 'em and think he was a pig. 'Course all men like to look at pictures of pretty ladies, but if there was _any _chance that a pretty lady like Madisyn would come to his cabin again…well then, he didn't want her to be put out of a good mood because of 'em.

"God," Jayne sighed, he was again alone in his room. He'd just come from another meal-which meant he'd been sittin' not feet from the source of all his problems as of late. Not that he minded. He could smell her when she walked by. And damn if she didn't smell right nice. He was still warrin' with himself o'er what to do 'bout her.

_You could either go to Inara and ask her the best way to make her like yeh._

_Or you could just keep avoiding her until Niska comes to be dead. _

_And who knows how long that'll be! _He felt awful disgusted with himself. But it wasn't his fault! Not really anyway.

But hell it wasn't the girl's fault she turned him on. It was his fault he was takin' his frustrations out on those around him, particularly her. He'd not said a civil word to his own wife since the 'Nightmare Incident' and on a ship 's small as Serenity…he knew how harsh that could be after a while.

Like chafing.

And he felt bad for it.

_Maybe I should try to be nicer to her? Maybe make friends like. That couldn't be so bad right? Yeah, we kin be friends, an' then this'll all sort _itself_ out._

He smiled and got up from his bunk to go see where the rest of the crew was.

_Wonder if she likes hoop ball?_

……….

**AN-Sorry this took a little longer than I'd thought. But I'm free tomorrow and I've already started chapter eight soooo, I hope to have that up soon. This chapter kinda just petered out but I hope you enjoy it anyway. It's a whole lot of thinking, which is probably what the next chapter will be made up of as well. But Soon! We'll get into a little bit of action. And then hopefully everything will move more quickly from there. **

**Please drop me a note, tell me what you think, how you feel, what you predict, etc. Reviews keep me going and make me very happy :)**

**Much Love,**

**Ceilidh**


	8. Spin me 'round

Chapter 8

**AN-Damn distractions! Well, tell me what you think. Here's chapter eight. **

**And since I can't reply to an unsigned review I just wanted to say; thank you Kate. I'm new to the Firefly world as well, and I have to say all the fans are fantastic! Hope you enjoy this next chapter :)**

**Oh! And I added a line of two to chapter seven to clear up any confusion over River's 'bean scene'. **

What'd started out as a day of awkward avoidance between Jayne and Madi had turned into a couple days of completely ignoring each other.

The only times Madi had even lain eyes on her _husband_ were mealtimes. And then they never met each other's gaze. Madisyn admitted they were acting like children, always staring at one another, but looking away quick when they were caught.

Of course instead of blushing and teasing each other, they were being down right frosty.

It wasn't as if Madi didn't want to be nice to Jayne. She just found it was easier if they weren't friendly. Of course, all of the ignoring each other really helped when she wanted to spy on him.

She'd watched from the catwalk as he and Mal had gone out to get the cargo, she'd watched as they came back. She had to admire the fluid bunching of his muscles as he hauled the crates around the cargo bay. She'd even spied him working once. And damn she wished she didn't have to sneak peaks at him.

But there was no way in _hell_ she'd allow him to catch her looking. He'd probably say something mean, like he occasionally snapped at Kaylee or Simon. Of course, if he did it'd turn into a shouting match like they'd had in the past; or at least it'd be like the battles that he sometimes had with Mal.

Those weren't fun.

But no one ever stood up to the captain on Jayne's behalf. Zoe never went against Mal, and Wash would just crack a joke (something Madi was growing to appreciate, more than just find amusing)…Madisyn was starting to feel sorry for Jayne. Even though the crew seemed to be one cohesive unit, there was no one on his side.

And Serenity's crew wasn't made up of friends. They were a family; they'd tell you when you were being stupid and they'd treat you accordingly (except of course if the captain was being stupid). But they'd all sit down later and all was well between them.

And it seemed everyone on the ship had someone.

Wash and Zoe.

Zoe and the captain.

The Captain and Inara.

Inara and Kaylee.

Kaylee and Simon.

Simon and River.

And Shepherd Book with however was in the right at the moment.

But Jayne…Jayne existed in his own little sphere.

It really was kind of sad. Of course, he'd never admit to being lonely but…all the same. Madisyn _did_ watch him, and after acting for most of her life, she'd learned to pick up on a person's facial clues. And Jayne Cobb, although he may just have been learning it himself, _was_ lonely. He longed for something.

And Madi just wished she had the balls to ask him what it was.

_Forget it!_ She scolded herself. _ I thought we agreed we didn't like him and we didn't care. We did agree to that…didn't we?_

"Hey Madi! What're you up to out here on the catwalk all alone?" Kaylee sidled up and smiled. She was easy to befriend; she was nice and sweet and loyal. And generally fun to be around. Madisyn didn't feel very cheerful or social since coming aboard Serenity but thankfully Kaylee didn't seem to care too much.

"'M just…hanging out here I guess. What're you up to?" Madi turned around to lean against the railings.

"Ah, Cap'n's got me some new couplings I'm gonna change out."

"Shiny." Madi tried to smile, Kaylee gave her a pat on the back and another dazzling smile before heading off to the engine room.

_Everybody's doing something. I'm not crew but…I should _do _something. _

_Yeah, maybe it'd get your mind off of You-know-who._

_Bi Zui. Don't think about it. _

Madi took to wandering again, her loitering on the catwalk having been caught and all. She nodded to Zoe on her way to the Mess but thankfully Zoe looked like she had things to do.

_Maybe you can raid the Galley and find something yummy. Food solves everything right? Sure._

The dining area looked deserted. Good. Madi opened a cupboard. All the labels appeared to have been torn off of the cans.

"Oookay, well I guess I'll not have anything canned then."

"It's always there if you look for it. Everybody sees and nobody sees it." River's voice come matter of fact from the table.

Madi had been wondering when their reunion would take place. River was obviously not the same mischievous genius from their days in the dance studio. Sometimes River would get…agitated, and Simon would lead her away from the rest of the crew. This in and of itself wasn't anything new. River often times would get upset with people for not understanding things her protégé mind found simple and then Simon would have to defuse the situation. But that was when River was a young girl. And these bouts of…disruption were…different. River had never been so, confused or disjointed and Simon had never had the look of concern that consumed him.

So Madi had been waiting for River to approach, waiting for her 'go ahead'.

"What's always there if you look, River?" she asked in the easiest tone she could manage. She wasn't sure how River had changed and wasn't sure how to act around her old friend.

"A million things, little ones in the corner that you almost don't see." She answered as though she'd explained a sad phenomenon a thousand times. "That's why I had to take the labels off. They're the ones that take you."

"Oh." Madi decided it was time to steer the conversation into more familiar territory. _And,_ Madi mused sardonically, _what's more familiar for a couple of Osiris kids than small talk?_

"How long have you been on Serenity, River?" Madi didn't look at the girl, instead she focused on grabbing a snack bar and a glass of water.

The brunette didn't answer immediately. She paced around the table, a slight frown on her face. When Madi took a seat, she followed suit and took a deep breath, the crocheted front on her floral dress swelling with the motion.

"Time seems irrelevant." She answered in a voice that sounded more like the old River. "Simon and I are on Serenity and we won't leave for quite some time. You however are in an entirely different situation. Your time here is dependent upon your relationship with Jayne. But don't worry," she smiled like a child and it seemed her coherent logical side was slipping again. Her sudden shifts were making it hard for Madi to keep up, "Jayne will come around soon. Just don't shut him down so harshly." She smiled and wrinkled her nose.

"Oh I shouldn't huh?" Madi felt the wry tugging of her lips as a true smile spread across her face. Even if River was changed, she was still the impish little girl she'd always been at her core.

River stood abruptly. "You remember our last routine."

Madi smiled and looked at the darker, younger girl sideways. "I believe I do."

"Good!" River laughed. "Stand up!"

The blond rose uncertainly. "You want to do it…here?"

"Yes, silly. Of course the cargo bay would have more room, but…well, this is better."

"Oookay then." Madi smiled and rose to her feet. _I may as well play along. I haven't had any fun in ages. Or days, whatever. No shoes._

She shuffled off her slippers and tossed them into the seating area off the Mess.

"Ready?" River took the start position from nearly four years past.

"Ready." Madi smiled and followed suit, sinking and stretching into a deep _arabesque__ penchée_ behind River,with her right leg high above her head, grateful for the shorts she decided to wear under her skirt.

River counted them off and (except for the straining of muscles that'd long gone unused) even without music, the pair were submerged right back into the routine. The moves flowed from muscle memory, from the hours Madisyn spent memorizing and rehearsing and performing. Soon the old friends were leaping and spinning around the table. Madi could hear the music from the past, could feel the recital's lights and the costume. She remembered how her new shoes hadn't _quite _been broken in yet and was glad she didn't have to tape herself into her costumes anymore.

But even with the smile on her face her heart ached. She wanted the pain to be mourning for the past, but other than dancing with River and disobeying her parents with her friends…there wasn't much to mourn. What she yearned for was a future.

And she wouldn't be too awfully upset if her future included dancing around with River in Serenity's Mess.

………

Jayne made sure his newest t-shirt and pants were clean. He didn't want to look like no beggar man when he tried to talk to Madi. But he didn't want to look like he was tryin' too hard, neither. He'd heard somewhere that it was better to not try to impress a woman. Although he wasn't so sure if he held with that.

He'd showered and shaved and made sure he didn't have any dirt in his nails or behind his ears just like his mama'd always told him.

Now all he had to worry about was what in gorram hell he was gonna say.

If he actually did ask her to a game of Hoop an' Ball, she'd probably throw somthin' at his head. But he couldn't just say, 'Hey, girl. I like you, kinda, I think. Let's get along, dong ma?'

_Now where would that little minx be?_ He wondered, completely clueless. Was she the kinda girl to hang round the infirmary with her good friend Mr. Doctor? Or would she be with 'Nara, doin' secret womanly things?

He'd noticed she was friendly with Kaylee, so she might be in the engine room, but everyone was friendly with Kaylee. Couldn't not be. He should know. He'd tried.

The more he thought about it, the faster the hardened mercenary's heart started to beat. The damned woman made him awful nervous, and just the thought of having to think of somethin' smart to say while she looked up at him with her pretty eyes all disdainful-like…well it gave him a powerful uncomfortableness.

_Don't you start thinkin' Jayne Cobb. _He warned himself and started toward the Mess (wasn't likely she'd be in the cockpit). _Just go in there, and…don't act like a gorram fool! Be nice t' her and…don't act a gorram fool!_

_You know,_ Jayne thought just as he stepped through the threshold, _when you're hearts beatin' faster than a hummin'bird's wing and then you see somethin' that just stops it flat…Well, it's a powerful strange feeling._

Right there in the Mess, where he'd eaten almost every meal for the past, who knew how long, was the object of all his frustrations, the subject that filled all his thoughts. _Dancing._ And beautifully at that.

Sure, he remembered her talkin' about takin' classes and some such, but he never thought she would be…so good. She was like…professional. With her graceful, dainty moves. And powerful leaps…her flowing skirts, swished up around her thighs, and her breasts strained at the scooped neck of her dress. Her hair was pulled up off her neck but there were a few pieces down and about that flipped round as she spun.

_And God…_ Jayne stood stunned, in complete awe. _Her face…she looks so…happy, and yet she's so…sad..is this what a heart feels like when it breaks?_

The dancing came to an abrupt stop and Jayne was snapped to reality by a feminine gasp. "Jayne!" Madi sounded startled and he wanted to sooth her fears…but he couldn't think of anything to say.

"She told you it was better to dance here." Jayne had hardly noticed everyone's favorite crazy girl, but now she smiled up at them like a kid at Christmas. But no one paid her no attention. Jayne couldn't look away from Madi and it looked like she was stuck in the same track breathing heavily. Jayne held envy for every little drop of sweat on her brow and swore right then that he'd get closer to her. "She will just go annoy Simon now. He's distracted Kaylee long enough." River smiled and walked off silently.

"Jayne," Madi finally broke the silence and looked around for…anything. "I didn't know you'd be here…now…" She was frowning at her own lack of words and the vulnerability heartened Jayne. If she didn't know what to say, then he needn't worry so much his own self.

"I was just…I mean, I wasn't doin' nothin', I just, came by to see an'…" He couldn't suppress the smile that came out, but it wasn't a vindictive smirk like he was used to spreadin', it was peaceful. It felt nice. "You're amazin' there Madi. Beautiful really."

"Oh!" She said softly, and looked away quick like. She was coloring up some again and lookin' down and it made Jayne feel like laughing. It truly did. "I, um, didn't know anyone was watching. River wanted to-and I-uh. …I mean to say-" she let out a big gust of air on a laugh "Thank you. I've not danced for…quite some time. It was fun."

She was clearly a might confused over why Jayne was talkin' to her now, after all the time he didn't even acknowledge her there. But Jayne couldn't think of a proper way to 'pologize without sounding like a pussyfoot.

"Yeah," he knew even as he said it it was stupid but he couldn't stop his dumb mouth "it looked fun. I mean," he tried to salvage it "you looked real-happy like. And uh…shit." He sighed heavily and snagged a bottle of sake from the cabinet with his favorite cup and sunk heavily down into a chair. "Look, Madisyn," he kept his own gaze down on his pouring. Madi's eyes were wide like a startled little rabbit, but she hid it quickly and popped herself down in a chair across the corner from his own, "I mean to say…well, I came here to be nice to you, ok? I ain't used to what's goin' on here and I…Oh I don't know! I just, wanted to say…hey, or somethin' so…hey. How're you doin'?"

……..

Madi's eyes skittered from side to side real quick, but she settled herself quickly and sat in a stiff imitation of a slouch, while Jayne sprawled out, exhausted from his emotional ordeal.

"Um. Hey yourself. I'm fine. Just, you know, dancing in the Mess. And you? How've you been?" She tried to keep a conversational tone, but was a little panicked. Understandably.

_What does this mean? Whatdoesthismean!?! And _what_ should I _say_?!_

Jayne sighed again and Madi couldn't help but take in how large and muscled his chest was as it rose and sunk impressively.

"We may as well be truthful yeah? On this boat there ain't much room for lies."

"True, I suppose." Madi tried to give him a reassuring smile, but was unsure of how it would come out with her heart beating so loudly. _Please don't let him be able to hear that!_ She preyed.

_He doesn't need to hear it, that vein in your throat's nearly punching him in the face! Get a hold of yourself girl!_

"Well then," he sighed again and took a big gulp of sake to fortify himself "truth be told, I've been tryin' to figure out what all, _this,"_ he motioned with a flapping hand between them "means, and I've been tryin' t'figure out how the hell I should…act about it." He took a moment and then looked up at Madi with big puppy dog eyes that nearly melted her on the spot.

_Well, if he can bare it all like that…_

Madi reached over and slid the bottle of sake and Jayne's cup over to herself. "Well, if you're going to tell the truth," she poured herself a drink and tossed it back before it the burning taste could remind her of her recent hangovers, then she refilled the cup and passed it back to Jayne, "I guess I may as well admit that I've been thinking along the same lines."

A smile began to pull at the big man's lips so Madi let one of her own fly free to take over her face. "Maybe we should just start over." She suggested, a laugh caught in her throat.

He took a drink from his cup and cradled it in his hands while looking Madi straight in the eye. "Yeah," he said after a break and pulled up to sit back in his seat, his ring tapping against his cup unconsciously. Or, hell, maybe it was on purpose. "yeah, I conjure we should be more friendly like."

"Yeah," Madi smiled and leaned back as well _maybe things will start to turn around_ she hoped, "friends would be nice."

"Well," Jayne leaned forward a space again and pushed the cup over toward his wife, "seeing 's how last time we drank together we got a little too drunk, I'm thinkin' maybe we should _share_ this last cup."

Madi laughed and took up the little piece of porcelain. "That's a brilliant idea." She toasted him with a little salute and took a drink, cementing their agreement to be more amicable.

_Maybe things are turning around…_

**AN-Alright, well, I'm not going to really read this over before posting it because I feel like it's taken too long to get up. Tell me what you think and…the action should pick up soon. Don't worry, this is sooo not the end for Jaynie and Madi! **

**Thanks for everyone who's leaving reviews!! **

**Loves,**

**Ceilidh**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**AN-Alright! Sorry this has taken so long!!! I really am. But I'm back now, and I'm introducing a little bit action… kinda. Don't worry there'll be more to come. **

**Oh, and I know I said when I started that this took place just before Heart of Gold, but…well, it's become a whole lot bigger than I'd intended and I had the episodes out of order in my head :P So just know, this chapter takes place just before Ariel. Now! Let's see if we can handle this :)**

_Ugh! Why can I never say anything intelligent?!_ Madi groaned as she leaned against her cabin's door. Jayne had just said goodnight and it seemed that every time she was in his presence she became a completely unattractive child!

Sure things were moving forward. They were friendly now at least. He'd played a hand with her that night; seemed poker was a staple onboard Serenity (and now at least she had something to do; they played for chores, Jayne had given her some of his to bet with and she'd lost a few hands for the sake of being polite). And he'd walked her to her room, gave her shoulder a squeeze and went off to…do whatever.

And there she was after a long awkward pause with a stinking: "You too. Sleep well, I mean. …yeah."

He'd just smiled his damn I'm-a-super-sexy-_shuai_-mercenary-with-gobs-of-experienced-sexy-women-who-throw-themselves-at-my-feet attitude…_UGH!_

Why oh why couldn't she get her act together? He was just a man…just her husband. Buddha! Why did _that _have to make him attractive in her eyes?

She knew sex was supposed to mess a girl up in the head but she didn't think it'd be this bad! Hell, she was half in love with the hun dan, his every word and gesture were golden in her book! And yet, all she'd shared with him was strife and booze. …And sex, yeah. Couldn't ever forget the sex could she? Not the parts she could remember anyway.

Well, at least with their being 'friends' now she may worm her way back in with him eventually. Or, better yet, maybe she'd get to know him a little and end up hating him!

_Yeah right. Fat chance of that happening, Madi. Face it. You want him. _

_I've already faced it! I just hope that soon I won't. Simple as that. _

Madi prepared for bed. She needed her sleep; tomorrow the crew was going to finish their job and she didn't want to cause any trouble or get in the way.

There in the dark she preyed for the first time in a long time.

She preyed that everyone would come back safely (she knew their job was dangerous and not exactly legal). She preyed that the job would go well for everyone involved. But most of all she preyed for Jayne. He was the muscle of the group. He was the most likely to get injured. …and even if he wasn't, she'd still be praying for the dummy extra hard.

…….

_Drop this morning._ Jayne woke up to his internal alarm clock. He stretched and popped his back. He smiled in anticipation. _Nothin' like a little smugglin' to get the blood flowin'._

Plus he'd slept real good last night. He'd played poker with Madi and she let him win a little (didn't make him feel less a man or anythin', it was kinda nice). Then he'd walked her to her door like they were sweeties. She'd been a little flustered and it made him feel…great. Like he was ten feet tall. Of course, he wished he'd had the balls to kiss her.

He'd almost done it, had his hand on her shoulder to pull her to him…but he'd chickened out (lost a couple feet from that, probably went all the way back into the sixes), he just squeezed her shoulder, gave her a smile and went off to bed.

Where, after he'd beaten himself up over being a little girl about Madi, he'd fallen asleep with a smile on his face, thinking of the good parts of the night.

Now he was gonna get dressed, go have breakfast with Madi…maybe she'd give him a good luck kiss…

_Stop it._ He warned himself. _You're gonna give yourself wrinkles if you keep thinkin' of her, the way you're smilin' so much_.

So, he'd get dressed, have breakfast, say a 'howdy' to his missus…then he'd be totally focused on the job. They'd not worked for a space and this job wasn't payin' so well, really just enough to keep flyin', but some dough was better than none. Maybe there'd even be a little left over after pickin' up the necessaries, and sendin' a little home, to get a little somethin' to sweeten Madi on him a bit more.

……….

"Is it always like this?" Madi asked Inara, a strange blockage lodged in her throat.

"Pretty much." Inara sighed and handed over a mug of tea with a sad smile. "All we can do is prey and wait for them to come back. At least they always do come back."

"With or without bulletholes and cash is the only question." River seemed in a dark mood but just breezed on through to the galley then back out to wherever she'd come from.

"Well, all right then…" Madi said slowly, eyes wide staring without seeing into her tea.

"They'll be fine," The Shepherd soothed and put an arm around her shoulders briefly. Then went on talking about mundane things to keep the women's minds off of the danger the men they were infatuated with were in.

It seemed an eternity before they heard the door open and Mal, Zoe, and Jayne came swaggering back in.

Well, Jayne swaggered.

It seemed the job had gone well.

"That was fast." Inara noted to Mal, a hint of a question lurked behind her words.

"Easiest job we've had in years. Had to negotiate the price a little, but Jayne there haggled it down easy enough. These folks aren't hardened criminals like us." He spoke in his typical off hand distracted manner, refusing to look at Inara the whole time. "Wash, take us outta the world."

_Hmm,_ Madi's smile crept up on her face as she studied the pair. What she wouldn't give for the simple attraction that pair felt for each other. She highly doubted they had to deal with the actual memory of the other naked…or anything.

And with that lovely mental image she swung her gaze back toward Jayne. She'd eyed him pretty thoroughly as he'd come in. But there were no evident injuries and for that she was eternally grateful. The mere thought made her blood freeze in her veins.

"Now can somebody git this damned buck knife outta my gorram leg?" He threw down a canvas sack and eyed the doctor meaningfully. He didn't seem all that concerned but Madi had a scream stopping up her throat.

……

Unlike most men who injured themselves often, Jayne didn't mind the infirmary. As a fact, he kinda liked the place. Hell, when he was in here he never really had to do nothin', he was always patched up, people brought his meals down to him…it wasn't so bad.

'Course, he didn't like being sewed upon. Or injected with nothin', or burned. And he didn't like takin' no pills…

"Alright, now I'm going to clean out this cut." Simon announced. "It's going to sting but if you'd just, stay….still."

Jayne hollered. Pretty gorram loud too. But as soon as he opened his eyes to the threshold he instantly regretted it.

There clutchin' the doorframe was the palest version of his little Madisyn he ever cared to see. And she didn't need to see him bein' weak like that. He said he'd protect her for cryin' out loud. He needed to show her he was fine. That he was tougher than that, that he was strong.

"Sorry." Simon muttered the lie while flitting around with different fearsome lookin' metal interments. Hell, the creepy things kinda made him a little skittish sometimes, 'specially when they got a little too close to his flesh like they were startin' to-!

But damnit! Madi didn't need to see that.

He held a hand out to the girl and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring kinda smile.

"Com'er Madi." He said softly, but his throat felt a little rough. Probably from his damned girly screamin'. _God, you fool. You're never gonna live that down._

Thankfully the little slip of a woman followed his orders and came in with big tentative steps like she used when she was dancin'.

She gave the Doc a look and he nodded that she was alright to come up closer.

"How are you?" She asked like each word was heartfelt and important. And it gave him a little surge of happiness to know she was worried over him. Not that she was worried, just that she was…about him…

But the thing that really perked him up, not to mention perked up certain parts of his body that should've stayed down for the pair the doctor was inflictin' on his leg, was the unconscious way she laid her hands on his bare chest.

The doctor'd taken off his shirt 'cause it'd gotten a little bloody, but aside from a few cuts and bruises, his upper half was fine.

_This could be your chance to get closer…_ a voice in his head spoke out. He took a deep breath and moved his hand to rest over hers, holding her to him.

"I'm fine," He answered with a little smile, "just a couple scrapes and such. Thing that hurts worse is the good doctor's medicine." He tried to joke.

But Madi still looked unsure. "Seriously Madi. I'm alright."

"I _have_ seen him with worse." Simon commented from down by his feet and Jayne wanted to kick him for interruptin'. He wasn't a part of this conversation last Jayne took stock.

Madi didn't speak, just ducked her head down and made a noise that didn't mean nothin'. Then she looked around, looked anywhere but at Jayne; which, he had to admit, was nice. It gave him a chance to think of what to say to make her feel better and to make her a little sweeter on him. And he could stare at her without her noticin'.

She really was a pretty little thing. She kept things simple since they'd been on the ship; a lot less make-up and fuss than Inara but more than either Kaylee or Zoe dealt with. Today she'd skipped linin' her eyes with any of the multitudes o pencils and crayon lookin' things she'd had in her bag. She just had her lashes painted a bit and had some pink somethin' smelled like candy on her lips.

And damn her lips. They looked so smooth and soft…He wished she'd just turn those lips to him for just a few minutes…And her eyes. They were so pretty, and sparkly, and-She paled quickly.

Her crème and roses complexion turned a chalky, grayish, white in a matter of seconds and his heart started pumping adrenaline as fast as he could produce it.

He forgot the pain in his leg, the doctor melted into the back of his mind and his head whipped around to see what had his wife so spooked. But he couldn't see nothin'. Just more medical supplies.

"What is it, Madi?" He tried to speak softly so as to sooth her but just couldn't manage it.

She didn't seem to notice.

"_That_ was stuck in your leg?" She said just above a whisper, her voice strangled. Her eyes were still fixed on the same spot and now he could see what'd caught her attention so fully.

Right there on one of those stupid metal trays was the bloody knife he'd taken. And it was a big boy.

_Gorram doctor, can't put shit like that away so the womenfolk don't have to see it an' worry? Besides what if his crazy sister'd gotten hold of it? _

_Damnit, what am I gonna say to Madi now. She don't need to be worryin' 'bout this…She needs to see me as strong. And _not_ just for my own feelin's. _

"Aw, it's nothin'. I barely felt it really." He leaned back and sniffed, tried to give off an air of not carin'.

"You barely felt _that?!_" She wasn't buying it. Then whatever the Doc'd injected him with seemed to take effect because her words started to swirl around without much order and his answers probably made no sense and she just turned 'round and left.

He thought he was doin' good. He was showin' how tough he was, how much he could take, being brave an' all. But she didn't seem all that impressed.

She just…turned 'round and left…then while he was still trying to figure out what in ruttin' hell happened, he slipped into blackness.

……….

"It's always like this?" Madi asked, incredulous, gesturing wildly behind her, when she saw Inara in the common area right off the infirmary.

"Pretty much." The Companion held back laughter. "What happened in there?"

"Oh, nothing much." Madi faked an airy, 'who-cares' attitude before exploding back into her…anger. She was _angry._ And scared. "Just that man doesn't even notice a _huge_ hunting knife to the leg! He's all fine and dandy! And he's _bleeding! _And he doesn't even _care!_"

"Now Madi, that man loves himself too much to not care about loosing his own blood." Inara seemed amused. She smiled a smile much like the one Madisyn had over the interaction between the Companion and the Captain.

"Well it doesn't _look_ like the man cares all that much." Madi was mad, and felt stupid. She just wanted to go to her cabin and…destroy something. Or…force Jayne to realize how badly he could have been hurt. What if he went into all his jobs like that? He could get himself killed quicker than a wink and that idea did _not_ sit so well with Madisyn. Wife or not.

"Oh he cares. I think though…" Inara gave a conspiratorial nod, "This just may be his way of showing that he likes you."

Madisyn frowned fiercely. And there was a long pause before either woman moved at all.

"_What?_" was all she could muster from her spluttering, stuttering brain.

"Well, lord knows, Madi. Men hate to be seen in a position of weakness, _especially_ by a woman they have feelings for. He's going to want to impress you. And if he's hurting, one of the ways men will try to impress a woman is by pretending that it's no big deal and that they feel fine. It's only after the pain goes away that they'll tell you about it. And then they're just trying to get sympathy and soften you up."

_Damnit. Companion knows what she's talking about._ Madi admitted grudgingly and gave the other woman a wry smile. "I suppose you're right." She conceded. Then she sank down into a chair, all of the fight sapped from her.

Sure the thought of Jayne liking her enough to want to impress her enough to suppress his own pain made her…a little giddy. But she was mainly concerned for him. She wanted to help but she was no doctor. Serenity already had a great one in Simon Tam; she remembered his parent's prideful bragging about him being top in not only his class but his whole school.

She sighed and looked up and Inara from under some hair that'd tumbled out of its bun. "What should I do?"

Inara stood and walked the few paces to her new friend. "Go to him." She said simply. "Sit with him." She gave a smile and a laugh; "Baby him. And he'll be…grateful." With that she left Madi alone with her thoughts.

_Couldn't hurt. _

So Madi gathered herself and slowly walked the few yards back to the infirmary's threshold.

Jayne looked like he was asleep, and Simon had stopped flying around. His movements were slower now and he was winding a bandage around Jayne's thigh.

"How's it going?" She asked, soft and sheepish.

"It's going fine. This is nothing unusual for Serenity. He really will be alright." Simon finished and smiled over his shoulder.

"If you want, you can sit with him a while. I gave him a pain killer, a sedative, so he should be out for another half hour or so."

"Alright." She answered with her head down; she hoped her hair would hide her blush.

Simon pulled a stool over to Jayne's head and motioned for her to sit. "I'm going to go check on River," he moved toward the door, clearly giving her some time alone with the knocked out muscle, "if you need me I'll be around, that and, I'll be back in a little while to check in so…"

"Thank you." Madi nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. "You've done a great job. Thank you."

He jerked his head in an awkward little bow and made a noise in his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the praise or the thanks or whatever Madi was trying to convey. Then he grabbed his sweater off the counter, turned on his heal and left the room.

Madi found it freakishly quiet alone in the infirmary with Jayne unconscious. Her heart started beating a little harder but she didn't need to be panicking.

_You're fine. Jayne's fine. Stop worrying. _ She chastised herself.

But it was so quiet…was Jayne even breathing?!

_Stop it! _ She wanted to smack herself upside the head. _He's fine, he's breathing fine! Shut. Up!_

She couldn't help it. She felt a little like she was taking advantage of him, but she needed the comfort. And if the table had been big enough she would have crawled up there next to the boxer clad Jayne and slid under that sheet and cuddled up with him as close as she could.

As it was, she curled her hands around one of his and scooted her stool closer to the table so she could press her face into his chest. Slowly her heart calmed down and she could breathe normally again…and she fell asleep.

**AN-Ok, it's getting to be about the end of this chapter (although I could go on and on) soooo, tell me what you think! For those of you with the episodes in order (:P) you know that coming up is Ariel and then War Stories (NISKA Action!!!)! **

**So soon, we'll have a bit more to deal with than the basic 'does he like me? Do I like him?' 'Does she like me? Do I like her?'…yep!**

**Leave a review and I'll love you forever. Oh, and I'm too tired to edit this right now sooo forgive my errors. **

**Much Love!!**

**Ceilidh **

**And PS!**

**Anybody else here seen Young Guns II? "Do you want your knife back?" !!!!! Oh I so wish I could've used that one! But then, Madi wouldn't have had the chance to see the thing :(**


	10. Ariel part I

Chapter 10

Jayne had opened his eyes groggily after what could have been an eternity. And the first thing he noticed was the head resting against his chest.

Madisyn's hair was tickling his face, she had her little hands wrapped around his and had then pulled up under her breast…she'd been really concerned for him. And Jayne couldn't help but smile softly and brush her hair from both of their faces.

But right there in the middle of his happiness, while he was smoothin' down her hair, soft as corn silk, he realized that he was doin' wrong. It hit him like a gorram speedin' bullet.

He was goin' about this whole marriage thing…bad.

Madisyn was young. She didn't have much experience with the world. 'Specially not with his kinda world.

Yeah, sure, of course he wanted her. And he was gonna try and get her to stay with him. But this wasn't the way to do it.

He needed to wait. Let her gain a little more understandin' of the world. Get a little more practice in. He didn't want to press himself on 'er now and then have her resentin' him for it later. What he should do, he decided, was to keep things friendly, let her know that he was around, but not be all…romantic about it. The contrast between her past and his made it all plain; she wasn't used to her menfolk comin' home all bloodied and battle weary. He needed to give her a fair chance at finding her own place in life.

And he could only pray that _someday_ she found she liked life better _with him_ than back on hoity toity Osiris.

………..

She woke up to hands running through her hair. It wasn't a feeling she was used to experiencing. On Osiris people had generally been very proper and had kept out of her personal space.

And of course while she was running she didn't allow anyone close enough to attempt this. But now…_Damn, this feels magnificent! _

Then she came to and realized where she was and who must be playing with her tresses. Therefore Jayne had awoken already and she'd dozed off.

"Oh!" she spoke a little breathlessly and popped off the table, dropping the hand she'd held captive for so long. The loss of his heat shocked her body, but she quickly heated back up with a strong blush. _Why do my hands have to _sweat_ so much! This is so embarrassing!_ She noticed Jayne wasn't wiping his hand on the sheet so hopefully she didn't get him too awfully sweaty. "You're up." She noted dumbly, unable to think of anything better.

"That I am." He answered with a peaceful drowsy face and a voice deep and rough. _Probably from the sleep._ She mused, her brain following her mouth's line of stupidity.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked, again at a loss and launched herself away from his bed as quickly as she could without being rude. She busied herself in Simon's drawers and pretended she was looking for something. And that she knew what the hell the things in the drawers were.

"Yeah," Jayne stretched and Madi couldn't help but look over her shoulder toward him. He was practically naked after all. Plus she knew what he looked like without those boxers on and…she just had to appreciate the view. "I'm feelin' a might drugged up, but other than that, I think I'm purty alright."

Madi hummed lowly to acknowledge his reply but didn't turn back to him. Instead she looked out the window that looked up to the walkway above.

"And you? How'd your little nap treat ya?" He asked with a smile in his voice. Madi didn't want to turn around but she had to see what kind of mood he was in to figure out how he meant that.

He was smirking. _What does that mean? Does he think it's cute? Does he think I'm stupid?! Am I like an annoying little kid who can't stay up as late as she said she could? What?!_

"It was fine. Not the most comfortable position to be in…but, it was fine." She picked up an alien instrument then put it back down after she envisioned what it could've been used for. "I imagine it was better than being in an induced sleep." She finished with her head held high. As soon as she spoke she could feel the tension in the room. If he wasn't careful, hell, truthfully if _she_ wasn't careful…there'd be another yelling match. And while they hadn't had one in days…she just did _not_ want to start that again.

"Well, I don't know. ' Least I was layin' down proper." Jayne rejoined.

_Why do we always get on opposing sides of every conversation? Can't we ever play for the same team?_ Madi's head was spinning. There were too many possibilities buried under each word out of Jayne's mouth. She tried to reply to him in a way that all the bases would be covered but it was _exhausting._ And she wasn't getting anywhere.

So she decided to joke with him, turn the conversation in a more lighthearted direction. _Maybe that'll put things right between us…?_

She laughed "I suppose you're right. I should've left you alone to mend."

…………

_That was close!_ Jayne was afraid they'd start fightin' again. But then she'd squared her shoulders like she was settlin' her mind to somethin' and she'd just melted.

She laughed, "I suppose you're right. I should've left you alone to mend." But as soon as she stopped talkin' the laughter faded from her face. "I just…" her voice was soft, quiet, almost like she was talkin' to herself. Or confessin' "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Damn! How he wished she were closer so he could touch her. Instead he reached out his hand to empty space before letting it fall back down to the table.

He didn't need to be touchin' her. That'd just forge a more…close…romantic…whatever sort of relationship! And he'd told himself he wasn't gonna do that just yet. _So NO touchin'._

"Oh I'm fine Madisyn. You can go on and do your own now. I'm just gonna get a shower and my pay and go to sleep seein's how I'm awake now." He tried to talk like nothin' mattered. Like he didn't care or didn't notice how worried she was. He thought it'd be better to treat her like he had a friend's little sister when they were younger. Or kinda like he treated little Kaylee.

And if Madisyn stuck around (which he prayed to God she would; he'd do absolutely anything necessary to convince her to stay), then maybe someday he start treatin' her like a sweetie, and then…who knew what the future held. But he wasn't gonna allow himself to daydream 'bout it too hard. That'd just muck everything up.

"Oh." She looked like she'd been hit for a second there. Kinda surprised like. But she covered it quickly. Whether she just got over it or hid it behind one o' her actress masks he wasn't so sure. "Well then, uh. Yeah. I just wanted to see you were alright, and now that I see you are…I'll let you go do your own thing. I uh…" She backed away from him, gave him a smile but didn't look him in the face. "I guess I'm more tired than I thought. I'm just gonna go finish my own nap now." And awkward silence hung between them as she got to the doorway.

He swung his legs down off the table and grabbed his shirt from where it was folded on the counter. _Was that Madi's work or the 'good doctor's'? _

"Yeah," He threw in, hoping to ease the situation.

"Yeah," her reply overlapped his, "I'll just," she pointed out the door, turned and left. Her face had been glowin' so red he could'a used her to signal with. So she had used her actress' front. _Interestin'…_ But then he felt bad for hurtin' her. _Gorramit! _

……..

Madi was completely mortified. She'd tried to get closer to Jayne and he'd completely blown her off. Shot her down like she wasn't in any way important or even attractive to him.

And Damnit! She knew she was attractive! _I mean I'm not a beauty like Inara and I'm not ridiculously cute like Kaylee, but! Men look at me! Men are always trying to take me home from the bar. Even when I take all their money!_

_God…Why did I let him take me home? _

_But where would I be now if I hadn't?_

It'd been two and a half days since she'd been caught sleeping on him and she still couldn't stop berating herself over it. She thanked God she'd not had to be in a room alone with him since then. And now that she'd been on Serenity for a while and everyone knew they weren't going to get any more scenes out of Jayne and herself, meals weren't always eaten together.

Still, she found herself at that table with him at least once a day. It was like he made a point of it.

And while she just sat there trying not to hyperventilate and putting on her absolute best behavior so as not to do anything stupid, he was cool as could be. Never made an awkward statement…well, never one that was awkward and about _them_. Lord knew the man said some gauche things.

The worst thing had to be the way he treated her. Inara he steered clear of. He acted, maybe like she was his older brother's girlfriend. And Kaylee he treated like his little sister, or the girl who lived down the street and he had no interest in _that way_.

And then there was Zoe…she didn't quite count.

But Madi? Madi he treated like…she wasn't even family. Like she was maybe related to a friend but…he wasn't _mean _to her. He wasn't nice. He didn't joke with her.

But that didn't mean he ignored her.

No, he treated her like a child most of the time. Getting things down from the cupboards for her like she couldn't get them herself. Closing doors behind her. He even served up her plate for her!

But all of this, with hardly a word spoken between them! He'd point at something to ask if she wanted it…

_Nerve wracking. That's what this is. It's completely nerve wracking. I've no idea how to act around the man! He's…taking me to bed and then pushing me away. Then we fight and make up and we're friends…And now this. What is this even supposed to be? How do I react? Inara said he wanted me. And she should know. Hell, he acted like he wanted me…but now…ugh! Forget it, Madisyn. Just forget about it, let it work out however it will…_

_Like that'll happen._

………

Jayne was unhappy.

They'd not made as much as they'd wanted these past couple months.

There was that big dry spell.

Then this little job hardly paid enough to restock his ammo and send home to his parents…

And this whole damn thing with his gorram _wife!!_

He could tell he was throwin' her for a loop. She was clearly flounderin' and had no idea how to process…

But neither did he! He was just trying to do what was best for her! And he'd figured that that was just protectin' her right now. Her happiness and piece o' mind wasn't as important as her health and safety, now was it?

He'd been makin' sure she was gettin' good cuts o' the food at mealtimes; loadin' up her plate for her and such.

He found himself up and about the boat at night to make sure she wasn't outta bed herself. Not that he could protect and defend her too good if he wasn't sleepin' but…he wasn't sleepin' so well anymore anyway.

_But I'm not thinkin' 'bout the why on that matter. _A voice sing songed in his head and he nodded in agreement. He'd win her over someday. But he'd give her a little time first.

……

More time went by. Madi was loosing count of the days. They were all the same really. Or at least they all branched off the same tree.

Some days, River was coherent and happy and mischievous, other's she was lugubrious and withdrawn or she'd mutter dire warnings…

Some days, Inara would fight with Mal about her lack of work.

Some days, Zoe and Wash would fight about…plenty of married people sorts of things. Madi tried not to listen too closely.

But basically, Madi woke up. Ate breakfast. Wandered about. Talked with Inara-but _not_ about Jayne. Hung around with Kaylee. Goofed about with Wash (who knew dinosaur toys were so fun?). The Shepherd had been trying to catch her alone and unoccupied the past couple of days but she just managed to get rid of him every time.

Mal left her alone, and Zoe…Zoe was a really nice lady. She clearly was putting some of her maternal yearning on the newest and youngest member of the ship but…well, she wasn't exactly the friendliest person around. She was closed off. Plus, Mal didn't really like Madi, so Zoe steered clear as much as she could.

Madisyn really had the most human interaction at mealtimes. Most of the crew would meet up for lunch or supper. And that was when Madi had to deal with Jayne the most.

Some days he'd tease her like a little sister.

Some days he'd ignore her almost entirely. Just grab her plate, load it with more food than she wanted…at least he'd learned what she refused to eat and stopped dishing it…

Madi was slowly learning to just accept whatever mood he was in and stay quiet. If she joked back with him…they'd start bantering. It would be fun…she'd get her hopes up…and then out of nowhere he'd just shut down. Cut her off completely.

And it broke her heart.

And anyway, Jayne was acting like a complete jerk to everyone lately. _So I suppose I should be glad he's not being outright mean to me…_

She was getting more and more lethargic with each day and she knew she was depressed. But what could she really do about it?

She tried. She had her bouts of spirit. She'd dance with River and play with Kaylee. She had fun talks with Inara and Wash would brighten her day….but she always slid back.

She was quiet…and that was unusual.

Simon had eyed her a few times as if to ask if she were alright but she waved him off. And he was way too busy with River to analyze Madisyn.

In fact, Simon seemed to be really, really busy with River lately. He was steering her out of the room more often than he used to…And she wasn't playing or dancing as much as she was muttering and being generally dark.

Her friend's descent into…whatever it was…

That broke her heart too.

It wasn't as if Madi had much of a life these past few years but she felt as if her world was crumbling apart…nothing was as it should be.

And there was nothing to be done.

She wouldn't pin all her hopes on Jayne confessing his undying love and pulling her from her melancholy. That was ridiculous.

_Besides, it's unhealthy to base your happiness on some guy's acceptance of you._ She coached.

_Yeah but I don't care! _

She felt stupid; like those old timey books where the characters would mope about and act all suicidal until in the end when they miraculously got together…

That's _stupid. Things like that don't happen in real life. It would be…stupid! If they did. This whole thing is stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid._

She sighed.

She wasn't even getting along with herself.

And damn Jayne!

Of course everything came back to Jayne didn't it?

These past few days he was in an even crotchetier mood. He was always testy. Always snapping at Mal and saying rude things to Kaylee and Inara. He was being particularly mean with Simon and River, although Madi could tell he tried not to be in front of her…

_Maybe he's trying not to let you see how mean he is to them because they're _your_ friends…because he doesn't want…because he likes….Shut up! He doesn't like me, he doesn't want me. He's a man. If he did he'd be all over me in a second. Lord knows I give him plenty of openings._

Madi was mad with herself. Or at least she wanted to be. She just couldn't work up the energy, she just couldn't be bothered.

_But maybe…._ A small voice spoke up _Maybe I should talk to Simon. He's a doctor…or Inara, she's just as good as a psychiatrist…_

_Ugh. No._

………..

Jayne was mad as hell.

He'd tried to calm hisself. But as the days went by it just got worse and worse. No job meant nothing to do. Nothin' to do but just sit and think…and thinkin' was bad.

No jobs meant no pay. And no pay meant there was no spendin' of that pay. No duties to fulfill; nothin' to send home…

He never thought about how much o' his time he spent either workin' or usin' his pay from his workin'. He'd always been busy. His pop'd helped him get his first real job at fourteen and since then he hadn't stopped.

Of course there were always dry spells for a mercenary. Even took time off on occasion.

But when he wasn't Merc-ing, he was doin' somethin' else. Workin' a mine. Diggin' ditches or foundations. He wasn't too bad with simple mechanic-in' either. So long as it was mainly heavy liftin' and not so much delicate paint jobs…

But now he had nothin' to do.

So he was in the hold; pumpin' iron. He'd already had a go and his punching bag…had to tape it up some more…

_Hell, this id'nt workin'._ There was too much movement. Workin' out just got his blood pumping. It'd take a _long_ ass time to get to where he was so bone-tired he didn't care no more.

He needed something…soothing…_ NOT THAT!_ His mind had imedietly flashed to stroking Madisyn's hair in the infirmary and holdin' her when she was scared and after they'd…been together.

_Damnit! Now you don't even know what to call it?! Jayne Cobb, you was ruttin'. Ain't no makin' love to a woman when you don't lover 'er. And you can't love a woman you don' know! You __chun zhu._

Needed something soothing, something soothing.

_GUNS._

So Jayne went to his cabin and gathered up a couple that he hadn't gotten round to cleanin' yet.

He wasn't doin' anything big at the moment. Just a couple'a hand guns…maybe a mule. _Better take some knives out too. Them's that need sharpenin'. _

He had enough room to do it in his cabin. He had a little table they'd fit on. Hell he could do it on the floor…

_Dinin' table's got more light._ A voice coaxed.

_Dinin' table could be occupied._ The part of his brainpan that was more his retorted.

_Comp'ny could be alright._ The coaxer picked back up.

_Not 'f it's Madi. _ He answered.

_Well now…_The voice was like a damned used 'ship salesman. _Thought you wanted to win her in the end's all._

Jayne knew he shouldn't indulge in conversations with himself. Knew he shouldn't be weighing options lest he get all _Lai huh ma shi yong tze tian e zoh._ But, goramit. He just couldn't resist.

_What d'you mean by that, me?_

_Just that cleanin' and preppin' your weapons is a manly sorta thing t'do. And it might just make her see you as more able to protect her…And that in turn might make her like you a little bit more…might make her _want_ you…_

Jayne's head was filled with images of Madisyn's lustful eyes. Her face awash with passion and ecstasy and _want_…_need…_

_But! No. That's wrong! I said I'd give her time, I'll give her some ruttin' time! She don't need to…see me all…manly and…No!_ Jayne was torn between what he wanted and what he thought would be the right.

Then that damn honey smooth voice spoke up again, quietly, unassumin' like.

_I'm not saying she'll be overcome with desire for you and throw herself on you. Just that, you could start…swayin' her over to you. Women want a manly sort don't they? They want someone who can protect 'em. And you already know Madi likes your protection…_

Damnit. He was sold.

Jayne grabbed up his things and headed to the Mess. He wasn't gonna act any different toward Madi than normal. He was just gonna be in a public place where she may happen along an' then he'd be there…he'd not be any different than normal.

_Damnit!_ There she was, in the galley with Doc and Crazy Sister. He hadn't been expectin' her so soon. And he wasn't wantin' an audience.

'Nara and Kaylee were playing Mahjong in the seating area in the corner. They looked up as he came in, 'Nara gave one o' her nods and Kaylee grinned a 'hello'. He just sat down quickly and started his work. He'd eyed Madi t'make sure the Crazy One wasn't goin' too crazy on her.

_Damn Moonbrain seems to almost like it when my Madi's around._ He conceded with a frown.

_No thinkin'. That's the point o' this excersize. You ain't even here to impress Madi. You're calmin' down the only way you know how without blood or trim…Don't think o' trim!_

……

Madi had been helping Simon with lunch but then Jayne came in.

He was in a different mood than the last time she'd seen him. He was…more tense; his muscles were bunched in what most have been an uncomfortable fashion. And she saw perfectly how much darker his eyes were as they swept over her.

She shivered. They bored into her and she was awash in his gaze. He scrutinized her, then scanned the room. He sat down and swept his eyes back over her before settling into his work.

"River, you have to eat." Simon wheedling covered exasperation broke her from her musings after a couple minutes. _I can't've been out that long. Kaylee and 'nara are still playing…_ She looked over at Jayne. She'd never watched a man clean his weapons before Jayne.

Hell she'd never seen so many weapons before Jayne.

"It's good," Simon broke back in, "it tastes like-" Madi could have told him how bad it was going to be. She was no master chef and space food was hard to get right. "—it's good." Simon managed to pull a smile that had Madi almost laughing.

"Smells like crotch." Jayne spoke up for the first time and Madi almost died on the spot.

"Jayne!" Kaylee admonished.

"Well, it does." He answered almost sulkily.

Madi just barely stifled a snort. "It really kinda does." She addressed the room but couldn't help glancing at Jayne. She wasn't saying it to prove she was on his side. It was true. It was just funny that the first time they were teamed up together was about food that smelled like sweaty crotch.

Jayne looked up at her but went back to his guns too quickly for Madi to get a read on him. He just gave one sharp nod and started putting a pistol back together.

Thankfully Wash broke the moment just as he usually did. Only this time he wasn't joking. Madi dished up while he tried to convince his wife to go out with him on Ariel.

_I wish Jayne was even a quarter as concerned about doing things with me._ Madi's thoughts turned dark and wistful, something she hadn't thought was possible until she'd come aboard Serenity.

_Knock it off! Just eat your damn food!_

So she sat down across from Simon, which put her kitty corner to Jayne. I'm not gonna pick a different seat. It'd be weird if I did. Besides, just because he's not dishing my food doesn't mean we don't sit next to each other. It's a small table and a small crew. We all sit together…ugh!

By the time Madi'd managed to stop feeling like an idiot over panicking over nothing Mal had come in.

"No one's setting foot on that fancy rock. I don't want anyone leaving the ship. Come to think of it, I don't want anyone looking out the windows. Or talking loud. We're here to drop Inara off, that's it."

There were groans from the crew. And Madi included. She'd not had a chance to breath air that hadn't been mixed with Jayne's air in…what must have been weeks. _I need to buy a calendar. _

"What's the point o' comin' to the Core if I can't even get off the boat?" Jayne contested.

"Could've gotten off with Shepherd Book at the Bathgate Abbey." The Captain retorted while dishing himself some lunch. "You could be meditating over the wonders of your rock garden right about now."

"Better'n just sittin'."

_I'm not gonna say it._ Madi coached herself. _Not gonna say it._

"It is just sitting." Wash answered Jayne for her. And she had to smother another laugh at Jayne's death glare. It spoke volumes of "I know that, idiot." And "I'm gonna kill you later." As well as "Why in ruttin' hell did I have to let words outta my mouth without thinkin' them through?"

The crew switched gears and started talking to Inara about why she had to go the Ariel. Madi'd already talked with her about it yesterday. And it made sense. Companions had to get check ups once a year because they not only have the danger of catching something from on of their clients, but most of them travel around the 'verse. They could pick up any disease really, and without proper treatment could spread it to their clients, who could spread it to their friends and family. Hell, a single well placed Companion could take out most of the Core if she tried. …Or at least if she didn't get her medical exam.

Madi was once again pulled from her musings but this time she didn't smile. Jayne'd just hawked a loogie onto a rectangular…rock-ish looking thing.

Madi's jaw dropped and her face screwed up in disgust. _Boys!_

Simon exclaimed, and looked like he might puke a little. _Which I gotta admit. Makes this just a little better…_

"Can you _not_ do that while we're-_Ever?!_"

Madi wanted to agree but had to hold back her laughter, and vomit, when Jayne just looked Simon straight in the eye and did it again. Simon moved over a seat, away from Jayne, in disgust. Madi dropped her head to her arms and just managed to keep from busting up.

It was gross, but the look on Simon's face was worth it. Her whole body was shaking, she was biting her lips, tears were squeezing from the corners of her eyes. She looked up at Simon to see if he was still making that face but he was staring at her now and shaking his head in disapproval. Which of course, with Madi's half hysteric state, just made her shake harder and wave a hand in front of her face.

The others were still talking though, still on their same conversation.

"Don't you just hate doctors?" Wash spoke from the Mahjong table.

"Hey!" Simon had gotten up from the table after River to put away his bowl.

"I mean, present company excluded."

Jayne snorted and spoke like he was the one with all the manners, "Don't be excludin' people, that's just rude."

Everything was going well, it was a normal afternoon, aside from the fact that Jayne and Madi both seemed to be enjoying themselves…and then out of nowhere the mood changed instantly.

River'd snuck a kitchen knife from the galley and slashed Jayne across the chest. Jayne swiped out at her reflexively and struck her to the ground.

Instantly there was pandemonium.

_Oh my God._ Was all Madi could fathom.

Chairs toppled, Madi's bowl spilled, the mahjong tiles were dropped. Everyone was talking but Madi's ears weren't working proper. All she saw was Jayne and his blood spilling from his chest. All she could hear was Jayne's breathing, her own heart's stuttering beat. And from far off Zoe's "It's deep."

It was like she was submerged in a tunnel or she was wearing blinders. Her whole life shrank down to this one thing. _Please be alright. Please! Oh God…" _Madi's panic was back a thousand-fold, yet she sprang into action.

But there was nothing to be done. Mal already had a dishcloth pressed against the wound and he and Zoe were announcing what to do about it. They knew better than she…

What would she do if Jayne were…_Nothing's going to happen to him!_ A part of her tried to override the fear._ You've seen the man, he's made of steel. He took a hunting knife to the leg and just left it there to go about his business. He'll be fine._

But with all the blood…he didn't look fine…

Then a warm hand clamped down on hers and she was shocked out of her tunnel vision. She mused for a moment at how cold she felt compared to this new heat before looking up to see where the needed interruption came from.

It was Jayne.

He was holding her hand tight, almost squeezing, and he was looking her right in the eyes. He didn't say anything, but the look he conveyed…

…..

Madi'd gone so pale. And her eyes were so big. Jayne knew she was terrified, but she'd jumped up anyway like she would help and that made his chest swell with pride.

Unfortunately there was nothin' really for her to do. Sure, the cut hurt; it was deep. And he was bleeding a lot. But it wasn't so bad and it wasn't anywhere near life threatenin'. He kinda wished it was worse though. Or that no one else was around. Madi'd feel better if she had some way to help.

'Cause now, just standing there with nothin' to do…the panic flooded her eyes again. She looked like she might…hell, he wasn't a doctor he didn't know, maybe pass out or somethin'.

He'd come out here to sooth himself_ well, didn't work so well, 'cause now I'm no where near calm, but-_ now he knew he needed to sooth his wife.

Maybe it was the drink, but she'd hardly looked twice at the men he'd _killed_ when they'd left Beaumonde. But now he'd been injured twice, and each time she'd not looked too happy about it. He couldn't think right now though. Didn't have time to ponder on the meanin' of life, let alone somethin' as complex and confusing as his girl's emotions.

So he did what he could do. He reached out to her, threaded his arm around past Zoe and Mal and grabbed her hand. He held it hard and fast and could feel her pulse beatin' in her veins.

She looked up after a pause and met his eyes. He tried to force a sense o' calm on her just by starin' hard as he could. He tried to push his own feelings into her. Tried to send out a sense of alright-ness. Make he know he'd be fine an' that everthing'd be alright.

And though she still looked worried and scared and confused, the panic went away and he could see her put her head back on.

Mal and Zoe were liftin' him up to his legs now to get him to a bandage and he either had to drop Madi's hand or mow her over.

"It's alright." He tried to make his voice a sort of spell like he'd heard tell of witches doin' back home when he was a kid. Tried to make his words truth and press that truth on Madi.

Then he was swept out the Mess and down past the hold to the med bay.

…..

There was nothing Madi could do for Jayne now. He was in the infirmary with the best doctor in the 'verse. And it didn't look to be a life threatening wound.

So, she went to see River. To see how she could help her old friend.

She was in her room. Madi thanked whoever was listening that the passenger's dorms weren't far from the infirmary. If anything happened or if-Jayne needed her or something…she could be there quickly.

Inara and Book were already there, trying to sooth the girl. But River looked fine, maybe even a little petulant. It was the adults that needed comforting.

"Hey, Riv." Madisyn spoke from the doorway. She wasn't mad at the girl. Something was definitely off with her friend.

"Hey, Mad." River responded in the same way.

"What's up?"

"Not much."

"Shiny."

There was a long pause. Inara and the Shepherd looked between the girls like they were crazy.

Then Madi sighed and entered the room fully, swinging her arms around to clap her hands.

Still no one said anything.

"Ok," Madi couldn't take it. She sat down on the foot of River's bed and addressed the elephant in the room, "so I know he can be an ass. And hell, sometimes I want to stab him to. But why'd you actually slash him?" She ran a hand through her hair and tried her best not to sound too accusatory.

River didn't say anything. Just stuck her nose in the air.

"Was it because he was being mean to Simon?" Inara asked River like she was a toddler who couldn't be understood.

River gave her a 'no, stupid' sort of look.

"Then why?" Madi tried to make her voice sound like she didn't care and if she were talking to or about anyone else it would have worked. Instead it came out a very nearly desperate.

"I didn't like his shirt." River shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Well shit, Riv," Madi wanted to laugh and cry and scream all at once, "I hate a lot of people's outfits! Doesn't mean I set 'em on fire or anything." She searched her friend's face for a hint. Anything. Because if she couldn't help Jayne then she wanted to do something and if she could help River…well, that'd be just shiny.

"Well at least I didn't set him on fire, huh?"

"River, I swear on all that's holy, you light that man on fire and…we will have words. Dong ma? That isn't going to happen. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't maim and injure him anymore. He may not be the embodiment of the perfect husband but I _am_ still married to him and I'd like him in working order if he decides he wants to start playing house, ok?"

River let out a little snort of laughter. "I can see him wearing a ruffled apron. He can be the mommy, build his character."

Madisyn laughed at that, the image of Jayne baking cookies in a floral, ruffled apron…

"Now I imagine that would be pretty character building for him. I doubt he's ever babied anyone."

River and Madi smiled with each other for a moment longer while Inara and Book looked uncomfortable and unsure of what to do and how to handle the situation. But eventually Madi had to bring them back to life. River was messed up in the head right now and if she had fun after doing something bad she might see it as a reward, thus making the bad thing a good idea.

"There has to be more to this than his taste in clothing, River. If that were the case you could have just…poured paint on him or dumped your bowl down his front."

She searched River's dark eyes but she was pouting now and wouldn't answer.

"River," Madi gently cautioned, "if it was just about the shirt then why'd you slash him? Hell, why'd a damn t-shirt warrant such destruction."

There was quiet for a moment more, Book moved as if to speak but Madi laid a hand on his leg to silence him; River looked like she was about to break down and confess the real reason she was so violently upset.

"It's always there." River was almost pleading and she was getting more and more agitated with each second. "The little ends of the roots go everywhere. And they're the ones that take you! There the ones with teeth and you have to _smash_ them!"

Inara's eyes widened as big as saucers. Book took up his bible as if it would give him an answer.

"Shh, shh," Madi tried to calm her younger friend. She scooted closer and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. She reached up and tucked the hair that perpetually fell in her face back behind her ear, "Mei-mei, it's alright. No one's going to take you. No one's going to take you, and Jayne wouldn't want you hurt."

River was crying with what seemed to be futility. _God…what happened to you little spirit? _

"They won't stop until they have what was taken. They can't stop."

"Shhh," Madi hugged her closer, "we won't let them take you. It's going to be alright."

…………….

Jayne hated the feeling of the thread tugging through his skin. And he hated the feel of the needle piercing more. It always made any injury ten times worse. But right now he was furious. He'd gone right past pissed as soon as he'd been set down on that table and Madi was out of his sight. He told Mal to go get her, she could handle his stitching and he had to be sure she was alright, but the captain'd refused.

"She's gotta go. Both of them's gotta go. Ariel's as good a place to leave them as any. Might even pick us up a reward for our troubles." He wanted Mal to think he wanted them gone for the same reason he'd always wanted them gone. And he ignored Simon. The doctor could finish his work or not, Jayne didn't care none. All he wanted was a little more gorram safety assured on this boat. He'd told Madi he'd keep her safe and that's what he was gonna do. But if he had to lay out her little friend to do it…Jayne didn't enjoy hitting womenfolk. He'd do it if he _had_ to but it just didn't seem fair otherwise. But that little crazy girl was gonna need knocked out sooner or later, Jayne knew he'd be the one'd have to do it….Then Madi'd get all upset…they needed to get gone.

"No one's getting left." Captain said like it was fact.

"She belongs in a bughouse. You don't pitch her off this boat right now, I swear to you..." Simon kept working but Mal broke his statue-like stillness to come over to them.

"What?" he challenged, "What do you swear, Jayne?"

Jayne took a breath. This was his chance to convince Mal, and he knew just what to say to get the captain to react. To get him to think. "They don't get gone... you better start locking up your room at night. Next time lil' sister gets in a murderin' mood, might be you she comes calling on." This was the main point, Jayne knew Mal'd never let no harm befall his crew that he could stop. And 'specially not the fighters, not the women. "Maybe Kaylee. Or Inara." He couldn't say Madi's name, couldn't bring himself to talk about her being hurt. "You let 'em stay... we're gonna find out."

Jayne saw comprehension and fear for less than a second in his captain's eyes. He wouldn't've caught it if he didn't know the man so well, if he hadn't lived and worked with him for so long. But he didn't get the reply he wanted. "Finish your work, doctor." Mal came to loom over Jayne, to impose on his personal space. Jayne'd seen animals do it before, to prove which one was in charge, and he didn't like it. However, bein' sewed upon and all, he wasn't in a position to stand his ground. "This is my boat, and they're part of my crew." Mal told him, his voice low and dangerous. "No one's getting left. Best you get used to that."

_There ain't nothin' to say to that. I spoke my piece…_

_Don't mean I have to like it._

Simon finished and Jayne snarled and stood as fast as he could. He left without looking at either man, "You owe me a shirt."

He needed to go see Madi. To make sure she was ok and to prove to her that he was alright. But he needed a shirt to do that. There was no need for her to see his fresh stitches. 'Specially not since they'd run outta the clear last week and had to use the black.

He stormed to his cabin as fast 's he could without runnin'. He grabbed a shirt and went right back out the door, headed through the Mess and to the passenger's dorms. He pulled the t-shirt over his head while walking and just got it down where it went as he passed Mal comin' out the cargo bay.

They didn't speak.

Mal went toward the bridge, Jayne toward his girl's room.

He figured he'd check there first, she'd been spendin' more time there alone as of late. He'd been hoping that she was livenin' up at the lunch table, but now…well, a stabbing is enough to put a damper on anythin' really.

He passed 'Nara coming out past the infirmary and nodded a terse greeting.

Just as he was reachin' Madi's door, River's opened and the little blond came striding out with all of her dancer's grace. His eyes widened with rage. And she hadn't even seen him.

She'd been in the crazy girl's _room_? With her?! No one else was around. It was quiet in the passengers' dorm.

Then Madi looked up and a little smile brightened up her face. Jayne would've appreciated it under different circumstances. But this!

He pulled her into her room and slid the door shut forcefully, never lettin go of the death grip he had on her upper arm.

"Jayne?" She didn't sound scared. Or even really that upset. "Jayne, are you alright?"

"Am I _alright?!_" He spun back round and grabbed her other arm; they were chest to chest as he hissed in her face. "I came down here to make sure everything was shiny and I see you comin' outta that freak's room! What the hell d'you think you were doin' in there!?" He demanded, shaking her a little.

"She's not a freak!" Madi hissed right back, fire in her eyes. "I don't know what happened to her but it's not her fault! She's been hurt by something and it's not her fault! And what do you _think_ I was doing?! I was trying to make sure my friend was okay!"

"She could'a killed you! You ever thought'a that, daft woman?!"

"She wasn't going to kill me!" Madisyn sounded incredulous and he pushed her hands against his chest to get away from him. Jayne just held on tighter. He had to make her see the risk she'd just run so she wouldn't do it again.

"She _could'a!_ She just pulled a knife on me for no reason other'n'd I'd just kinda teased her brother a little." He crouched down and bent his knees so's he could look her in the eye. He tried that thing he did before in the Mess; tried to force her to see reason. "The girl's off her rocker. She's not safe t'be around." He softened his voice and loosened his grip a little so he didn't bruise her but he still held her close, he wanted her melded against him. He wanted her inside'a him so he could always protect her. "I don't want you bein' round her when I'm not with you. Dong le ma?"

Madi still had her hands on his chest, on was dangerously close to his stitches but he wasn't goin' to protest none, even if she'd slapped him right there. Any physical contact with her was a blessing in his book.

But Madi's face…she was always a delight to look 'pon. And half of her looked like she wanted to just melt into him, which he had no problem admitting that's what he was hopin' for. But the other half…the other half was still mad at him. Real mad too.

But he could tell she knew why he didn't want her to be alone with her friend. He could tell she accepted his reasonin's too. But he could also see she knew it didn't mean she had to take 'em to heart.

"First off-" Madi's voice was dangerously controlled. "You can't tell me what to do. Second, River is not a freak. She can't help that she's…off. Something happened to her and she needs help, not an armed guard. And Thirdly…" She took a deep breath, part of his mind couldn't help but absorb the heat and softness comin' off o' her breast as if got closer to his chest. She searched for words to say. Another number that she was gonna throw at him. Another thing about River maybe, or a denial of the connection between her and him.

Seemed every time they got in a fight like this she had to remind him straight away that he had no claim on her. Had no authority to tell her what to do. And it's not that he wanted authority over her or nothin'. Hell he hated authority just as much as the next mercenary. But he wanted his opinion to matter to her. And he wanted her to listen to what he had to say and consider it. He wanted her to take his orders when her life was in danger!

But she didn't say nothin' like that. Instead, she took another deep breath and she melted.

Not into him like he'd been askin' for. Just kinda sagged on herself. She gave up. And changed the subject.

"Thirdly…how are you? Was it as bad as it looked?"

He knew there'd be no good in goin' back into the fight. He'd just have to make sure to watch out for her a little more carefully.

He sighed and sagged himself and pulled her over to the bed. "I'm fine." He answered and reluctantly dropped his hands from her arms to the bedspread. Hers followed suit and landed in her lap. "It was a little deep but, I got it all sewn up now. And it should be fine in a day or so." He bumped his shoulder gently against hers, trying to turn this whole 'alone in her bedroom after somethin' stressful' thing into a more 'friendly' thing. "Y'need t'stop worrin' so much about me, little one." He pretended to tell her off. "Old Jaynie can take a hit just fine."

He smiled and got a weak little one from her in response.

But he was still scared for her. Anything could'a happened to her while she was alone in that room with the unbalanced girl and he was busy getting stitched up.

"I'm more worried 'bout you, b-" he cut himself off quickly. He'd been about to call her bao bei and put his arms around her.

_God how I want t'hold her!_ He groaned to himself. _But you can't. It's not part of the plan._

Madi didn't notice, or at least she acted like she didn't. "You don't need to be worried about River and me. I may not know this _new_ River, but…I don't know. It wasn't you she was trying to cut. She goes into these episodes where…I don't know, she thinks something's after her or something. She's scared. She just needs someone to be with her and hold her and tell her it'll be alright." Her damn heart was on her sleeve. She'd picked up the 'force somethin' with your eyes' trick a lot better than he had.

But there was no way in all the 'verse that he'd let that someone be her. It was way too dangerous.

He ignored the plan and pulled her to him, cradling her head against his heart, resting his chin on her hair. "And that's somethin' her brother can do. 'Sides he's a doctor, he can take care o' her."

Madi'd gone a little stiff but she quickly went boneless and wrapped her arms around him. Jayne just held her for a minute, let her heat sink into him as he rocked them back and forth a little. "You just need to be right here." He spoke softly, almost to himself. He wasn't sure if she'd even heard him until a few minutes later she whispered back; "And where do you need to be?"

**AN-OK! Sorry this took longer than I wanted!! The stinking site wouldn't let me log in for two days!! **

**But it's up now, it's extra long (this was going to include all of Ariel but it's almost twenty pages and I normally only post seven). So, tell me what you think! I haven't edited this whole thing so, uh. Forgive my crap mistakes? **

**I realize there's a bit of waffling back and forth with the character's emotions but that's supposed to be there, so don't worry. Next up will be the rest of Ariel where Jayne and Madi will either finally come to understand one another and get together or…they'll be driven even further apart. :)**

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, you're all amazing and I love my readers!!**

**PS. I just watched this episode. Anyone else wonder if maybe Book's actor was really on vacation when they had to film this scene? :P**

**Much love!!**

**Ceilidh**


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